Vol. IV Numb the Ache
What hasn't killed me, made me stranger What doesn't kill me, will break me instead The world won't wait to rip you apart Misery cut my life short I am the one who lost everything Sailing apart from the deadly thing What hasn't killed me, made me stranger What doesn't kill me will break me instead Fuck
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 22, 2026
Watch me as I suffocate Medication to soothe my aches Numbs my constant fear of change Addiction is a slow decay Watch me as I suffocate Medication to soothe my aches Restless shakes, bruised veins God, will I ever fucking feel safe? Oh I fell in love with my depression The only thing that was consistent I hated how empty I felt But at least it kept me distant Everything I love will slowly dissipate Everyone I know will be ripped away What's the fucking point? It's getting harder to pretend How do escape the relativity in this? Nothing is beautiful, nothing is forever That thought alone strips me of my efforts Nothing is beautiful, no nothing lasts forever That thought alone strips me of my efforts Maybe when I'm older I won't be so scared to die Maybe in time death won't be so fragile in my mind I fell in love with my depression The only thing that was consistent I've hated how empty I've felt But at least it's kept me distant (Spite) Watch me as I suffocate Medication to soothe my aches Numbs my constant fear of change Addiction is a slow decay Watch me as I suffocate Medication to soothe my aches Restless shakes, bruised veins God, will I ever fucking feel safe? Addiction is a slow decay, oh Feelings of neglect, feelings of regret How the fuck could I ever forget? I'm addicted to despondency It bleeds into everything
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 22, 2026
The darkest eyes, the Devil's eyes Peeled back, cold and dead Frail hands gripped tight around their neck Legs limp as they struggled to the end Was it me that enjoyed this? A man now a corpse on the ground laying lifeless Dug to the soil in a coffin fucking spineless Everyone is miserable, but some can't fucking hide it When you lose everything what else is there to losе? Break someone еlse apart and just tear them in two Misery loves me, and it know me best Push me off the deep end and bring me death Misery loves me, and it knows me best The hand I extend is putting you to rest I hope if you survive it That nobody spares you any kindness And I hope you break under your vices And I hope you fucking hurt just like I did Eat shit
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
I break beneath my grief I hate the fact that I know my tragedy’s my masterpiece Harbored my aggression till it broke loose Now a feeling that I can’t lose I watched the razor hit the floor Blood in the bathroom sink Nothing felt forced I saw the lines on her wrists And up her arms another victim to self-harm Like staring at my reflection her face said it all I knew to keep a steady hand to remain calm My attempts never went like this Now I’m here at thе other end Someonе you’d never expect wanting themselves dead When you tried to kill your demons you hurt yourself instead A collection of your failures compiled in a vignette When I tried to kill my demons I hurt myself instead A collection of my failures compiled in a vignette Red on white hospitalized for the night Only hopelessness filled your eyes To see you like that killed me inside (No, no, no) I break beneath my grief I hate the fact that I know my tragedy’s my masterpiece Harbored my aggression until it broke loose Now a feeling that I can’t seem to lose When you tried to kill your demons you hurt yourself instead A collection of your failures compiled in a vignette When I tried to kill my demons I hurt myself instead A collection of my failures compiled in a vignette Behind the wheel, I stilled in shock Those damages I couldn’t mend, it’s like time stopped I closed my eyes as anxiety washed away It all built up to this then crashed right into me What else could I do? What the fuck else?
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
An unfulfilling sadness pollutes my tired soul I don't know who I am anymore, sick of fucking feeling so low I flirt with suicide, maybe it'll kill my pain Does anybody ache like I ache? Lifeless I lay, burning at the stake Pull from the hurt, retake control Why is it so hard to fucking feel whole? Pull from the hurt, retake control Why is it so hard to let go? I wish I could kill off my mind I wish I could kill off my mind I wish I could kill off my mind But every time I try, I find myself back at the bottom I'm sick of burdening others with all my fucking problems Bruises and contusions, grandeur delusion I'd beat myself to death if it were appropriate solution I'm strangled beneath my doubt I'm strangled beneath my doubt I'm strangled beneath my doubt Hope I fucking choke I flirt with suicide, maybe it'll kill my pain Does anybody ache like I ache? Lifeless I lay, burning at the stake I flirt with suicide, maybe it'll kill my pain Does anybody ache like I ache? Lifeless I lay, burning at the stake
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
Jaded and drained, hollow and chained To loss and heartbreak, I’m not the same We hurt ourselves on the outside To snuff what constantly kills us on the inside I’m still stuck in this rut Existing in that in between Wishing I wasn’t so empty Coming apart from the seams Everything gets so tedious, it always feels the same The older I get, the lower I sink, and I don’t think that’ll change So tired of wasting my efforts, attempting to blend in I don’t belong here, and maybe I never did Does growing up have to feel like this Will I ever get back what I missed? Self medicate to help me forget, I’ve made my bed and I’ll die in it I shouldn’t have worn my heart on my sleeve I shouldn’t have kept you so close to me I just need space Anger takes shape You’re a memory I wish I could erase
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
I’m just drunk, it’s not love right Not in the right mind and I’ll hide behind Intoxication I’ll drink my emotions down Instead of feeling something Maybe it’ll hurt less I know I made a mistake But still I wish you the best I don’t know what I’d choose The fear of losing everything or having nothing to lose Because either way, I always feel the heartbreak One way or another, I’ll be your mistake I’m just drunk, it’s not love right Not in the right mind and I’ll hide behind Intoxication I’ll drink my emotions down Instead of feeling something Maybe it’ll hurt less I know I made a mistake But still I wish you the bеst I remember that blank еxpression you always gave I think I adapted that trait, separation emotionless face
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
Eyes heavy, I haven’t been sleeping Bloodshot from staring straight at my ceiling Thoughts ripping me to pieces, I’m speechless I keep latching onto temporary happiness Even if it’s for a night, that’s one less I’ll spend Overwhelmed & stress again Fixating on things I can’t control Like god damn tunnel vision Burdening this weight alone There’s nothing left to feed on Capillaries have ran dry, blood leaking out of my mind Toxicity & I, we intertwine No last words, put me in the dirt I don’t wanna feel, I don’t wanna hurt No last words, put me in the dirt Six feet is what I deserve It’s funny, isn’t it? Working towards the imminent Really wish I nеver fucking pissed away my innocencе Another year sleeping through my hands Growing old is a hell I can’t stand We all end up with nothing and that’s the deadly sting Inevitable and crushing, look what it’s made me No last words, put me in the dirt I don’t wanna feel, I don’t wanna hurt Six feet is what I deserve
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
Murder on my mind, stranger to myself Nurse me back to health before I hurt someone else Anxiety swells my lungs Not too quick to bite my tongue A trouble soul getting fucked up till they're numb Falling in love, beautiful yet so bittersweet It's hell without relief, we grew apart so seamlessly Alone together, from few and far between Was a product of your misery and you were the death of me You were the death of me Will I ever be enough? You were the death of me Was I ever someone that you loved? How do you trust your feelings, when they disappear so quickly? The value of a moment is now just a memory How do you trust your feelings, when they disappear so quickly? The value of a moment is now just a memory Fumigate my throat, fill me with formaldehyde Bury me in toxins to rip up my fucking insides Murder on my mind, stranger to myself Nurse me back to health before I hurt someone else Anxiety swells my lungs Not too quick to bite my tongue A trouble soul getting fucked up until they're numb
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
This empty feeling I feed You're nothing more than a leech I’ll play the part of a monster if that's what you need A bird on broken wings, strangled till I couldn't sing I’ll be the fucking devil if that's who you need me to be I can't sweat this fever out I'm desparate for attention Begging to be someone else I swear i'm the new cancer Still feeling sorry for myself I can never sweat it out Still feeling sorry for myself This empty feeling I feed You're nothing more than a leech I'll play the part of a monster if that's what you need A bird on broken wings, strangled till I couldn’t sing I’ll be the fucking devil if that's who you need me to be
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
I'm not a saint, I'm not a savior I'm far from perfect, closer to a failure I'm not who you want me to be I don't know what you expect out of me I'm not a saint, I'm not a savior I'm far from perfect Pressure, it feeds my doubt And it's all becoming too much I'm losing my patience Anger I've been gone for quite some time Hanging over this hole in my heart You left me wounded and unlovable Why was your company insufferable? Losing you wasn't the hard part It was knowing it cannot be undone I compare everyone to you Love is just a feeling that made me feel used Madе me feel used I'm coping without closure As I sink lowеr than before I guess I'm hanging on But I don't love you anymore I'm coping without closer And I am lower than before I guess I'm hanging on But I can't love you anymore Closed myself off so I can attempt to heal I still ask, was it ever real, ever real? Nurse my wound, dress my self-esteem Stitch my shame as I am left unclean Don't ever ask me to stay again No longer will I be broken at your expense
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
Time neglects these wounds that need addressing Harbors any attempt at slow progression How do I keep a restraint on my aggression? Cause I’ve grown tired of suppressing the way that I feel Kill the ache Ease the pain Level the blade Free my mistakes Take me away Regressing fast is a slow defeat This illness killing off the better parts of me Bound by my medications They keep me alive In a world run by greed Can I afford to live? Will I get by? Will I get by? Thousands to keep me breathing Zero to just let me die When I was younger, that’s when I truly live Life was exciting but it all went to shit As time went on, everything changed The past is the past, it’ll never be the same I can’t help but to fall back on the memories How they all faded and now that part Just feels dead to me, out of reach I know I’m losing a battle That never seemed to belong to me I’m only 23, but half my life is spent If you’re not rich in health You may as well be dead Nobody tells you there’s no room for the diseased Collapsing beneath a world run by greed You’ve taken everything Why let me be free? Struggle in silence, I can’t be seen Thousands to keep me breathing Zero to just let me die
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026
I stay awake at night, stuttering to speak the words Of a feeling I can no longer find All the pain that I’m holding on Self inflict for a bit like it makes me strong Am I wrong? Not enough for your love I used to crave attention Now I’ve grown used to loneliness Cause I can’t break my own heart & I refuse to let you do it again My dichotomy sits between happiness & suffering This illness enervates my cheeks, drains them of their coloring Sometimes I bloom & then I wither My lungs collapse, pneumonia, it blisters All I ever wanted was reprieve from these aches From feeling drained, from the sadness I can’t satiate What’s left of us? Can you answer with honesty? I resent you too much for you to be happy with me I’m hanging on the truth, it’s at the tip of my tongue I tried to feel something, but I’ve just grown numb I fear to hurt again, I’m afraid to let you in I lost myself that first time and I haven’t been the same since Am I a fool for you, or have I just been comfortable with abuse? I’m a hostage in my head Cut so deep from the words you’ve said I can’t find relief Searching for reprieve Am I a fool for you? Or have I just been comfortable with abuse? I can’t find relief Searching for reprieve
Submitted by Finntroll — Feb 22, 2026