Tankard
Album • 2000
Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', butt mayonaise Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', it seems it's not my day Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', I passed some gas Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', and blew chunks out my ass I drank lots of apple wine last night And now my bowels, they don't feel so right Wet fart! Something don't feel right Wet fart! Soiled my pants tonight Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', butt mayonaise Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', it seems it's not my day Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', I passed some gas Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', and blew chunks out my ass Lack of control, what else can I say? My rectal dribble leaves a spot that stays Wet fart! No reason or rhyme Wet fart! Dinglberry time Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', butt mayonaise Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', it seems it's not my day Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', I passed some gas Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', and blew chunks out my ass Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', butt mayonaise Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', it seems it's not my day Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', I passed some gas Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', and blew chunks out my ass Now I lesson for you all to hear Don't trust that feeling knocking at your rear Wet fart! I'm not that perplexed Wet fart! You just might be next Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', butt mayonaise Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', it seems it's not my day Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', I passed some gas Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', and blew chunks out my ass Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', butt mayonaise Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', it seems it's not my day Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', I passed some gas Flirtin' with desaster, Flirtin', and blew chunks out my ass
Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Apr 26, 2025
VERSE 1: Soul after soul! My black wings cut the sky Hatred so old! My long teeth ripped flesh The corpses, I'll take them into my hall of bones The slaughtered, the entrails, the guts will be my throne Victims abound! Their weakness is my strength Red moon beyond! Straight from the underworld I'm creeping, the rain beats on rusty iron walls The foul stench of my mouth, the abject evil calls CHORUS (2x): Dark light! Blood is the currency, and I'm the parasite The doors of my dark exile are closed and locked up tight I am the parasite and blood unlocks the light VERSE 2: Hymn of the damned! The fire burns the cries Realm of the dead! Welcome mortality My temple, unholy, the altar made of plagues Your crosses, just dripping, religion - sick and fake Hell ain't a dream! Hot pits and freezing cold Sin after sin! Your nightmare never ends That oily machinery, cooled by the human sweat I feed them with envy, the worms inside your head [CHORUS] [VERSE 1] [CHORUS]
Submitted by NecroGod — Apr 26, 2025
Appetite and hunger come No matter where you're from Either near or far Come to my snack bar Have some fries or have some meat No matter what you eat You will never know At "Hot Dog Inferno" Welcome to the best burger in your whole life Order, fool, or you'll miss all the fun Hey there, lady, suck my sausage for the whole night Come on, baby, I'll serve you all night long No way! Eat it up! Sit down again, it's a Long day! Bad luck! See this gun, mister? Look into mu frying pan And I will cook your brain Swallow faster This sandwich disaster Have some fries or have some meat No matter what you eat You will never know At "Hot Dog Inferno" Ain't that good? It's an age old mayonnaise cream Ketchup rules, so please drink up your cup Greasy sauce, I bet you'd die to try my tongue quiche Boiling pasta is heating up your blood No way! Eat it up! Sit down again, it's a Long day! Bad luck! See this gun, mister? Your tombstones my wooden spoon Your order seals your doom Die of mustard You god damned bastard Have some fries or have some meat No matter what you eat You will never know At "Hot Dog Inferno" Fidding you with black pudding to your last breath Onions raw will make you fart til death Finalli I'm gonna cut you into pieces Steaks on my grill, you smell so good at last No way! Eat it up! Sit down again, it's a Long day! Bad luck! See this gun, mister? Appetite and hunger come No matter where you're from Either near or far Come to my snack bar Have some fries or have some meat No matter what you eat You will never know At "Hot Dog Inferno" Ever been a cannibal? Just look at your plate, pal What a big surprise The last one in your life Have some fries or have some meat No matter what you eat You will never know At "Hot Dog Inferno"
Submitted by Cyberwaste — Apr 26, 2025
Play! To the lord Die! Pray and feel my sword Jesus died for all our sins Still you don't believe in God Intolerant as I am I will no accept your ways In the name of our lord's son I will get my holy gun Breathe! Your last breath Believe! And you will avoid death I came here to mold your life So you won't walk out of step Best to be subservient Cram the bible down your throat Hell bent for Jesus - you've been deleted, heathen Hell bent for Jesus - motherfucker die, motherfucker die Hell bent for Jesus - come, kiss the bible asshole Hell bent for Jesus - motherfucker die, motherfucker die Pray! For your soul Die! Pump you full of holes It' si good for our ideals Now that you're out of the way Spread our word to all the rest Killing in the name of god In the name of our lord's son I will get my holy gun Love! Love the lord Die! Love or feel my sword Searching for the promised land We burn "witches" every night On a quest with holy might The pope finances our fight Hell bent for Jesus - you've been deleted, heathen Hell bent for Jesus - motherfucker die, motherfucker die Hell bent for Jesus - come, kiss the bible asshole Hell bent for Jesus - motherfucker die, motherfucker die Play! To the lord Die! Pray and feel my sword Jesus died for all our sins Still you don't believe in God Intolerant as I am I will no accept your ways In the name of our lord's son I will get my holy gun Hell bent for Jesus - you've been deleted, heathen Hell bent for Jesus - motherfucker die, motherfucker die Hell bent for Jesus - come, kiss the bible asshole Hell bent for Jesus - motherfucker die, motherfucker die Hell bent for Jesus - you've been deleted, heathen Hell bent for Jesus - motherfucker die, motherfucker die Hell bent for Jesus - come, kiss the bible asshole Hell bent for Jesus - motherfucker die, motherfucker die
Submitted by johnmansley — Apr 26, 2025
Lock your doors 'cause Tankard's coming to your town When we're drunk then we don't like to fuck around Wicked thirst yet there is no beer to be found Help us out or we will burn this town to the ground Other bands will play but we all come to drink Unshowered entities that do nothing but stink Fat and ugly, smelly, pissed beyond belief Gonna spew our vomit on your little piece We're kings, kings of beer and love what's in out veins Kings, kings of beer, sombriety our pain We're kings, kings of beer, kings of beer Kings, kings of beer, kings of beer, kings Do you really think that we are serious? Think again, man, you must be delirious Certan groups claim the have seen the light of day But we're Tankard and have nothing to say Other bands will play but we all come to drink Unshowered entities that do nothing but stink What's the fuss, did you need food for that small mind? Don't complain, 'cause you can kiss our big behinds We're kings, kings of beer and love what's in our veins Kings, kings of beer sobriety our pain We're kings, kings of beer, kings of beer Kings, kings of beer, kings of beer, kings Lock your doors 'cause Tankard's coming to your town When we're drunk then we don't like to fuck around Wicked thirst yet there is no beer to be found Help us out or we will burn this town to the ground We're kings, kings of beer and love what's in our veins Kings, kings of beer, sobriety our pain We're kings, kings of beer, kings of beer Kings, kings of beer, kings of beer, kings We're kings, kings of beer, kings of beer Kings, kings of beer, kings of beer, kings
Submitted by Celtic Frost — Apr 26, 2025
My life is without meaning Nothing I do makes sense My mom has always told me That I am good for noyhing Metal! Metal! Ray of hope Metal! Metal! It's my dope I'm sorry that I'm ugly I'm sorry that I'm stink I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Nobody likes my belly Then don't like it when I sing My pockers always empty I have to sponge around Metal! Metal! Ray of hope Metal! Metal! It's my dope Sorry, I have bad manners Sorry, I'm impotent I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Nobody likes my belly Then don't like it when I sing My pockers always empty I have to sponge around Metal! Metal! Ray of hope Metal! Metal! It's my dope Sorry, I have bad manners Sorry, I'm impotent I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Sorry, sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! Sorry, sorry! I'm so sorry!
Submitted by NecroGod — Apr 26, 2025
Barbe! Help me please! Your show is an avenue for the prostitute in me You want to see my private parts? Or see the girl that broke my heart? She's drilling me just to make your day But I don't care 'cause I like to pay Is schlager in or schlager out? Do you care what it's all about? Or are you bored beyond belief 'cause your home, sick and need relief? I am a Talk Show Prostitute I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs I am a Talk Show Prostitute You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt I am a Talk Show Prostitute I fill the empty spaces in your boring life Is this the future on T.V.? You watch as I exploit me here My friend, it's public larceny Kick back while I get my feet My world is open for the mass You suckers now can kiss my ass The pay-check's coming in the mail The money's good - but the themes are stale I am a Talk Show Prostitute I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs I am a Talk Show Prostitute You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt I am a Talk Show Prostitute I fill the empty spaces in your boring life Meiser! Help me please! Your show is an avenue for the prostitute in me I am a Talk Show Prostitute I opened up my cloak to fill your inner needs I am a Talk Show Prostitute You iron one more shirt and watch commercial dirt I am a Talk Show Prostitute I fill the empty spaces in your boring life
Submitted by NecroGod — Apr 26, 2025
We want headbang every night C'mon turn out the light Heavy concerts and horrible parties Dying by 200 phone Too loud you're dying playin' Heavy Metal Too loud you're dying playin' Heavy Metal Wanna hear load and heavy Ready for destroying really Ears fall down from philistine 'Cause Venom plays in Odeon Incredible Loudness we want - that's hard, that's heavy Playin' hard and loud we want - that's good, that's right Incredible Loudness we want - that's hard, that's heavy Playin' hard and loud we want - that's good, that's right Running free kill'em down Let's play heavy with much rown Dying whores and lying here It's so loud it's shread your ear Too loud you're dying playin' Heavy Metal Too loud you're dying playin' Hard and Heavy Drinking their blood tonight It's a very very great delight The reason why we do this Is our incredible loudness Incredible Loudness we want - that's hard, that's heavy Playin' hard and loud we want - that's good, that's right Incredible Loudness we want - that's hard, that's heavy Playin' hard and loud we want - that's good, that's right Running free kill'em down Let's play heavy with much rown Dying whores and lying here It's so loud it's shread your ear Too loud you're dying playin' Heavy Metal Too loud you're dying playin' Hard and Heavy Drinking their blood tonight It's a very very great delight The reason why we do this Is our incredible loudness Incredible Loudness we want - that's hard, that's heavy Playin' hard and loud we want - that's good, that's right Incredible Loudness we want - that's hard, that's heavy Playin' hard and loud we want - that's good, that's right
Submitted by Immortal — Apr 26, 2025
Jay walking - and you're gonna land in jail Doesn't matter - if you can pay the bail Gotta get out of here Gotta get out of here - I won't stay A young boy of eleven on trial Land of the free - if you're able to pay Land of the free - if you're righteous than stay Land of the free - better bring some good luck Land of the free - but we don't give a fuck Land of the free - but without me, land of the free Where's O.J. - he's got money that talks High paid lawyers - that's why the rich man waolks Gotta get out of here Gotta get out of here - I won't stay Breaking rules that I knew now existed Inane laws which I knew not about Land of the free - if you're able to pay Land of the free - if you're righteous than stay Land of the free - better bring some good luck Land of the free - but we don't give a fuck Land of the free - but without me, land of the free Land of the free - but not in the bible belt Land of the free - persecution is what I felt Land of the free - now I'm really bored Land of the free - of rednecks and the lord Please help me - I'm stranded without a beer I'm not of age - fake liscence tucked in my rear Gotta get out of here Gotta get out of here - I won't stay It's the law and you obey with blind folds Don't complain 'cause it's you who's at fault Land of the free - if you're able to pay Land of the free - if you're righteous than stay Land of the free - better bring some good luck Land of the free - but we don't give a fuck Land of the free - but without me, land of the free Land of the free - but without me, land of the free Land of the free - but without me, land of the free Land of the free - but without me, land of the free
Submitted by Warbringer — Apr 26, 2025
Why do you hate me? What is your game? You point your finger at me even though I'm not to blame Now you feel better, but are you sure? It makes me laugh because you think that you're so pure Now shut up! I walk on water I'm as clean as the virgin mother Critisize all the people 'round me I was born with the gift of insight You're the one who can't deal with me Everyone but me is lying Mirror, mirror - take a closer look Mirror, mirror - there's no denying Mirror, mirror - what do you see? Mirror, mirror - there's no use crying Encloaking yourself in a shroud of lies And with each tale another foul part inside you dies Are you reflecting? There is no hope Your disturbed view of life results From smoking too much dope Now shut up! I walk on water I'm as clean as the virgin mother Critisize all the people 'round me I was born with the gift of insight You're the one who can't deal with me Everyone but me is lying Mirror, mirror - take a closer look Mirror, mirror - there's no denying Mirror, mirror - what do you see? Mirror, mirror - there's no use crying Mirror, mirror - take a closer look Mirror, mirror - there's no denying Mirror, mirror - what do you see? Mirror, mirror - there's no use crying Why do you hate me? What is your game? You point your finger at me even though I'm not to blame Now you feel better, but are you sure? It makes me laugh because you think that you're so pure Now shut up! I walk on water I'm as clean as the virgin mother Critisize all the people 'round me I was born with the gift of insight You're the one who can't deal with me Everyone but me is lying Mirror, mirror - take a closer look Mirror, mirror - there's no denying Mirror, mirror - what do you see? Mirror, mirror - there's no use crying Mirror, mirror - take a closer look Mirror, mirror - there's no denying Mirror, mirror - what do you see? Mirror, mirror - there's no use crying
Submitted by The Void — Apr 26, 2025
My skin is naked, my skin is virgin My skin is white, white lake the snow Only some pimples and a big fat wart Oh tattoed man I adore you so You're passing by, an eagle on your back Swords cross your chest and snakes around your arm I'm afraid of blood and pain My naked skin drives me insane You're standing here, a dragon signed your calf Hell what a shame! I'm a tattooed coward man Fear! Fear! Fear of tattoos! Fear! Fear! Fear of tattoos! Fear! Fear! Fear of tattoos! You are so cool, tongues of fire lick your leg I want a skull and spiders on my neck I'm afraid of blood and pain My naked skin drives me insane I love tattoos but I can't stand this hell Needles of horror, I am a tattoo whimp You're standing here, a dragon signed your calf Hell what a shame! I'm a tattooed coward man I'm afraid of blood and pain My naked skin drives me insane I love tattoos but I can't stand this hell Needles of horror, I am a tattoo whimp My skin is naked, my skin is virgin My skin is white, white lake the snow Only some pimples and a big fat wart Oh tattoed man I adore you so
Submitted by Infernal Flame — Apr 26, 2025
← Go back to Tankard