Calm Seas Vol. 1

So you want to be a pirate Not sure what you must do? Then listen close and stand up straight Cause I got something for you First, you need a parrot And a lumby bumby crew Then grab a pistol and grab a sword Some nice old cannons too And then you steal the ship Whatever there may be We’re going on for treasure And soon you’ll see Wooden barque through the endless seas Tons of rum, bring the booze to me We’re on a ship, to the winds we bow All renegades we’ll overthrow Wooden barque through the endless seas Tons of rum, bring the booze to me My fate revealed, in sail and keel For this, my friend, is how to be a pirate You have a hook of gold Where once your bloody hand’s been And if you bastards being bold I’ll haunt you till the end scene Wagons are for cowards And horses for the weak A sail above and the wooden barque Is all I need Wooden barque through the endless seas Tons of rum, bring the booze to me We’re on a ship, to the winds we bow All renegades we’ll overthrow Wooden barque through the endless seas Tons of rum, bring the booze to me My fate revealed, in sail and keel For this, my friend, is how to be a pirate Ascended from rigger Now a nautical master Dagger, a trigger Are my death-cry caster Ascended from rigger Now a nautical master Dagger, a trigger Are my death-cry caster Wooden barque through the endless seas Tons of rum, bring the booze to me We’re on a ship, to the winds we bow All renegades we’ll overthrow Wooden barque through the endless seas Tons of rum, bring the booze to me My fate revealed, in sail and keel For this, my friend, is how to be a pirate

Submitted by Sexy Gargoyle — Feb 09, 2026

The parrot was a banger, but went completely nuts He scratched his butt and picked his nose My girl named him a bastard, named him a prick, which showed I didn’t even need the slut Later on, I missed her so The parrot had to go Deathwatch beetle party, when our barque is doomed to drown Planks are creaking madly, and our wood begins to grouse Deathwatch beetle party, dancing in my ears and hair The animal center lady said, the critter is easy care Und dann folgte der Hamster, ein zuckersüßer fratz Und trinken konnt der auch für zwei Er schob sich ständig sahne und butter in den wanst Und war ständig vom rauchen breit Fortuna strafte dieses laster Er starb zu früh an asthsma An asthma (*coughing sounds*) Deathwatch beetle party, when our barque is doomed to drown Planks are creaking madly, and our wood begins to grouse Deathwatch beetle party, dancing in my ears and hair The animal center lady said, the critter is easy care Deathwatch beetle stole my heart Love his clicking sound This beetle rips my soul apart He wants my ship to drown But I love him anyways Now and anytime Oh I hear a bubbling sound He wants my ship to drown Deathwatch beetle party, when our barque is doomed to drown Planks are creaking madly, and our wood begins to grouse Deathwatch beetle party, dancing in my ears and hair The animal center lady said, the critter is easy care

Submitted by Sexy Gargoyle — Feb 09, 2026

Six years ago in a land I call home I drank too much ale and I bet I could roam To far away lands and be back in a year With nothing on me but a bag and rapier The first part was simple, a friend picked me up He stopped on an island, he owed me a buck Provided supplies and the path lay down bright And the mood was so high until then came the night So I'm waiting and waiting a ship hits the shore Again it's just pirates or cutthroats and more But I'm longing for home so I'm joining the scrubs Let me tell you my friend: Naval hitchhiking sucks Seven days later my courage was lost Had desperately searched all my luggage's slots For now I am wasted and willing to starve And I am embracing the pitiful smart The first part was simple now what a mistake He stopped on an island no way to escape Used all the supplies and no mast and no flag Had appeared on the shore so I ate my own leg So I'm waiting and waiting a ship hits the shore Again it's just pirates or cutthroats or more But I'm longing for home so I'm joining the scrubs Let me tell you my friend: Naval hitchhiking sucks So I'm waiting and waiting a ship hits the shore Again it's just pirates or cutthroats or more But I'm longing for home so I'm joining the scrubs Let me tell you my friend: Naval hitchhiking sucks Ahoi!

Submitted by Sexy Gargoyle — Feb 09, 2026

This is the sweetest symphony My rotten ears have ever heard The stormy waves revealed A lady of the sea Come down, dear sailor, to the sea And all my pleasures you shall meet One step further and you Shall sink to the dark below They’re tempting the captain to fall To drag down once and for all To drag o the captain below My rum-blurred gaze just couldn’t take Her grasping fangs, her fishy eyes Find me yelling at the crew Ahoy, that wench is mine! Come down, dear sailor, to the sea And all my pleasures you shall meet One step further and you Shall sink to the dark below They’re tempting the captain to fall To drag down once and for all To drag o the captain below With burning lungs I wake from sleep Sinking in so deep! Sinking in so deep! I’m turning on that hateful witch! Her dinner I shall be One step further and you Shall sink to the dark below They’re tempting the captain to fall To drag down once and for all To drag o the captain below

Submitted by NecroGod — Feb 15, 2026

The lovely sweet smell of liberty Lies in the winds they tell The story of a treasure hunt And a forgotten spell We beg the winds and set the sails To appear in future tales We start the journey with all sails set Treasure gold and glory to get Over the waves and the storms we fly With a barrel of grog, now drink AYE AYE Merciless we kill or die No second life no second try Merciless we kill or die SIDE BY SIDE The grog is gone, the meat is out A pirate‘s life is hard to live The treasure will help out no doubt We're looking for a rocky cliff Over there‘s a silent shore Exactly what we're looking for Anchor at the shallow sea Let‘s have a break Over the waves and the storms we fly With a barrel of grog, now drink AYE AYE Merciless we kill or die No second life no second try Merciless we kill or die SIDE BY SIDE

Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Feb 09, 2026

At pitiful cold night I sit In candlelit grotty pit A moving shadow on the floor And someone knocking at my door I slowly open one steps in Smelling like a salty sin He's on a journey tells his plan Wants me to be his steersman Set the sails the quest begins It takes you to forgotten shores Set the sails a pirate wins That‘s a pirate's destined course A journey to the end of time A life to please the soul of mine He's looking for a combatant To fight and question no command Not even once I hesitate Nor will I linger desolate Ahoy my captain I'll join in For a new chapter to begin Set the sails the quest begins It takes you to forgotten shores Set the sails a pirate wins That‘s a pirate's destined course

Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Feb 09, 2026

Oh! Sally Brown, she's the gal for me, boys Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll! Sally Brown, she's the girl for me, boys Weigh high, Miss Sally Brown! It's down to Trinidad to see Sally Brown, boys Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll! Down to Trinidad to see Sally Brown, boys Weigh high, Miss Sally Brown! She's lovely on the foreyard, and she's lovely down below, boys Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll! She's lovely cause she loves me, that's all I want to know, boys Weigh high, Miss Sally Brown! Old Captain Baker, how do you store yer cargo? Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll! Some I stow forward, and some I stow after Weigh high, Miss Sally Brown! Forty fathoms or more below, boys Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll! There's forty fathoms or more below, boys Weigh high, Miss Sally Brown! Oh, weigh high ya, and up she rises Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll! Weigh high ya, and the blocks is differеnt sizes Weigh high, Miss Sally Brown! Oh, one morе pull, don't ya hear the mate a-bawling? Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll! One more pull, that's the end of all our hauling Weigh high, Miss Sally Brown! Sally Brown, she's the gal for me, boys Roll, boys! Roll, boys, roll! Sally Brown, she's the girl for me, boys Weigh high, Miss Sally Brown!

Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Feb 09, 2026

There once was a ship that put to sea And the name of that ship was the Billy o' Tea The winds blew hard, her bow dipped down Blow, me bully boys, blow (Hah!) Soon may the Wellerman come To bring us sugar and tea and rum One day, when the tonguin' is done We'll take our leave and go She had not been two weeks from shore When down on her, a right whale bore The captain called all hands and swore He'd take that whale in tow (Hah!) Soon may the Wellerman come To bring us sugar and tea and rum One day, when the tonguin' is done We'll take our leave and go Before the boat had hit the water The whale's tail came up and caught her All hands to the side, harpooned and fought her When she dived down below (Huh!) Soon may the Wellerman come To bring us sugar and tea and rum One day, when the tonguin' is done We'll take our leave and go No line was cut, no whale was freed The Captain's mind was not on greed But he belonged to the whaleman's creed She took that ship in tow (Huh!) Soon may the Wellerman come To bring us sugar and tea and rum One day, when the tonguin' is done We'll take our leave and go For forty days, or even more The line went slack, then tight once more All boats were lost, there were only four But still that whale did go Soon may the Wellerman come To bring us sugar and tea and rum One day, when the tonguin' is done We'll take our leave and go As far as I've heard, the fight's still on The line's not cut and the whale's not gone The Wellerman makes his a regular call To encourage the Captain, crew, and all Soon may the Wellerman come To bring us sugar and tea and rum One day, when the tonguin' is done We'll take our leave and go

Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Feb 09, 2026

Now we are ready to head for the Horn Weigh, hey, roll an' go! Our boots an' our clothes boys are all in the pawn To be rollickin' randy dandy oh! Heave a pawl, oh, heave away Weigh, hey, roll and go! The anchor's on board an' the cable's all stored To be rollickin' randy dandy oh! Oh, man the stout caps'n and heave with a will Weigh, hey, roll an' go! Soon we'll be drivin' her 'way up the hill To be rollickin' randy dandy oh! Heave a pawl, oh, heave away Weigh, hey, roll and go! The anchor's on board an' the cable's all stored To bе rollickin' randy dandy oh! Heave away, bullies, yе parish-rigged bums Weigh, hey, roll and go! Take yer hands from yer pockets and don't suck yer thumbs To be rollickin' randy dandy oh! Heave a pawl, oh, heave away Weigh, hey, roll and go! The anchor's on board an' the cable's all stored To be rollickin' randy dandy oh! We're outward bound for Vallipo Bay Weigh, hey, roll and go! Get crackin', me lads, it's a hell of a way! To be rollickin' randy dandy oh! Heave a pawl, oh, heave away Weigh, hey, roll and go! The anchor's on board an' the cable's all stored To be rollickin' randy dandy oh! Heave a pawl, oh, heave away Weigh, hey, roll and go! The anchor's on board an' the cable's all stored To be rollickin' randy dandy oh!

Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Feb 09, 2026

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