The Stocking Song

So you say you like candy canes All the ladies do Candy canes were meant for sucking So don't you think about trying to chew How about a little eggnog I got a homemade recipe You're gonna get love drunk on my eggnog Even though it's alcohol free I'm gonna stuff your stocking this year Gonna fill up nice and tight Gonna feel so good when I slide my gifts into it tonight I'm gonna stuff your stocking this year Gonna fill it up with all I got Nick nacks and candies gonna hit your stocking g-spot I know you like your toys, girl I got toys to fulfill your needs The kind that only use double d batteries And run at variable speeds Gonna stuff it with an iPhone All I ask is some tit for tat If you could memorize the Kama Sutra Heck they probably make an app for that I'm gonna stuff your stocking this year Gonna fill it to the tippy top Gonna take it all out Then stuff it back in Take it al out... stuff it back in You'll never want me to stop I'm gonna stuff your stocking this year With holiday love and romance I just hope that Santa doesn't stuff it Before I get the chance

Submitted by Nargaroth — Feb 22, 2026