A Semblance of Normality

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Dance round the maypole, rappers and mummers Stepping in and out of time. Cockeys, Brummies, Tykes and Geordies Players in this pantomime. From Notting Hill to Tyneside's Mela Marching ghosts of colliery bands. Farmer's markets, high tech sweatshops Such a 'green a pleasant land.' In an English country garden, "Clearing the land.. exurban man.' Puddings made with bread and butter The lash of the whip and rhyming slang Speakers corner, Miners' Welfare Images all juxtaposed, With this patchwork panorama You have to laugh, "Do they mean us?" Lager louts and laddish culture St. George's cross upon your pate. John Bull in Beau Brummel's waistcoat Knuckles tatooed love and hate. Schizophrenic, new age, new man Bite your lip, don't make a fuss. The malaise of "The English Patient" You have to laugh, "Do they mean us?" "Oop North" where they bathe in gravy Sarees seen on cobbled streets Down south it's a top coat warmer 'Kiss me quick' on Margate beech. English blood runs mild and bitter Adam's ale or council pop? Refugees, asylum seekers Multi-racial melting pot. Such inherent contradictions A crisis of identity Are the smiles all disingenuous? Quote English eccentricity. From Lands End up to Kielder Water All "make believe" and "just suppose." Given the "whole sink and puddle" In the end, "Do they mean us?"

Submitted by NecroGod — Apr 24, 2025

Well "The West" wakes up to a terror attack But they got enough muscle for to give it right back. Now the warmongers are happy they know that they can't lose They picked a good day for to bury bad news. And all the latest figures talk of rising crime While offenders are released before they've served their time But they're happy down in Brussels they know that we can't choose They picked a good day for to bury bad news. We've got a military stand-off While they can't agree the peace And political solutions Are always out of reach. A giant asteroid passed close by last night Well this one didn't hit us but the next one might. But the scientists are puzzled they're looking for the clues They picked a good day for to bury bad news. While all the floods and famines And the cyclone's rage Of Biblical proportions Can't even make the front page. I said, "Hold on a second, there's a late news flash." Billions wiped off as the high-techs crash. But the ministers are happy they know that they can't lose They picked a good day for to bury bad news. They can't bury bad news, they can't bury bad news They can't bury bad news, they can't bury bad news

Where they sit around and get a round in while the getting's good, They'll make the most until the money's gone. They're coming out to celebrate, to sing and dance and to escape A crazy world where everything seems wrong. Drinking to forget and to remember all the glory days, The days we stood apart and we stood strong; Though the beer befuddles sense it can't provide them recompense, They settle for anotherdrinkingsong. Where the 'busy man finds recreation' the 'idle man finds business', The 'melancholy man finds sanctuary'; The 'stranger may have welcome' and still within these selfsame walls, The 'citizen may find some courtesy'*. From Rose and Crown' to 'thingy and Bull' all history is written there, To folklore, myth and legend we belong; Come Masons, Plumbers Carpenters, come Cricketers and Huntsmen, All join in with anotherdrinkingsong Well you can keep your 'long-hours culture' and lusting for adventure, There's life aplenty down 'The Tap 'n' Spile' Forget your occupation down the salutation This tragicomedy will make you smile From quaint barstool philosophy to subtle innuendo It's funny how the tribes all get along Curse abstinence and temperance; and celebrate insouciance And join us in anotherdrinkingsong

Submitted by Corpse Grinder — Apr 24, 2025

So we lie awake and wait for dreaded and demanding dawn Come wrest us from our safe and sleepy beds. Over by the window lie the raiment and the weapons That we need to take into this world today. Armoured by opinion, with statistics and a schoolboy's charm We take our place among the rank and file. Young and proud and free, we are the 'gilded youth,' the 'chosen few,' The vanguard of our generation here. Marching into battle, after glory in this enterprise Like pieces on a board, we're pushed around. As cannons roar and missiles fly, into this melee we are thrown, We dearly learn survival has a price. Now Profit is a noble cause, we're honourbound to follow on Believing "Good" and "Right" are on our side We will be remembered in dispatches or in legends long, Will our story be retold? But dragons slain in PC games just can't assuage, your anger reigns. You struggle on in spite of all you learn. Baffled by their industry and bold commercial wizardry, The young crusader's beaten by the game. Yet in the quiet shade of evening when I lay me down And relive all the struggles we have made. A smile creeps cross the face that bears the scares of war time can't erase, I loosen off my grip and fade away. I loosen off my grip and fade away. I loosen off my grip and fade away. I finally close my eyes and fade away.

Submitted by Corpse Defiler — Apr 24, 2025

We're building up to nothing Can make it last all day, They're handing out the pitchforks To keep the tide at bay. Though time and tide will never wait We'll stand our ground and celebrate: A song of no-involvement A show of no-concern A song of no-involvement We're far too good to learn Well indolence is blissful Employment is the curse Once bitten makes you work-shy You've gone from bad to worse. The winds of change whatever they bring We'll turn our backs and learn to sing: A song of no-involvement A picture of restraint A song of no-involvement The world will have to wait To those who look for answers Or seek to rule the roost, Go sign your 'ignoramus,' Cos we're the living proof. Live and let live and learn to forgive Come Heaven and Hell, we'll join in with: A song of no-involvement A testament to sloth A song of no-involvement Sounds good upon mine oath A song of no-involvement This life is such a farce A song of no-involvement The world can kiss my arse

Submitted by BloodShrine — Apr 24, 2025

All the seats are taken in the house that makes the rules All the seats are taken in the parliament of fools The discontented winter howled, when I first came up to vote. They swept in on a sea of change, but I'm glad I missed their boat. As communities were taxed and torn, utilites got floated And for eighteen years the "True Blue" cause prevailed and was promoted. How do you cast your vote in the parliament of fools? How do you cast your vote in the parliament of fools? Now I took me off to college for to learn philosophy. Studied Paine and Machiavelli, spin and sophistry. But coming from a country that was red in tooth and claw, For a one-horse-race some lobby-fodder-donkey was brought forth. How do you cast your vote in the parliament of fools? How do you cast your vote in the parliament of fools? All the seats are taken in the house that makes the rules All the seats are taken in the parliament of fools. Armed with this liberal knowledge, I set off to London town. To see the "Seat of Wisdom," and hear justice handed down. Not a 'semblance of normality,' an assembly of insanity I'll not become a member of this parliament most foul. How do you cast your vote in the parliament of fools? How do you cast your vote in the parliament of fools? Yes, all the seats are taken and our confidence is shaken. How do you cast your vote in the parliament of fools?

Submitted by Dahmers Fridge — Apr 24, 2025

'One United Kingdom they fancied wouldn't do. To please some grumbling Irishmen they split it in two. Two little kingdoms, but then the Scots, you see, Claimed their ancient throne and rights, then there were three. Three little kingdoms but then one more, For Welshmen claimed a Parliament and then there were four. Four little kingdoms wouldn't do it all! One of them was too big; the others were too small.' And this is the price we'll pay Take a lesson from your history. 'Divide and conquer is the game we play.' And this is the price we'll pay. 'All across Great Britain ancient hates revived. Cornwall wants to rule herself, and then there were five. Five little kingdoms, but London in a fix, Raised the 'Southern English' flag and then there were six. Six little kingdoms, the 'Home Rule' heaven, Caused a stirring in the West, and then there were seven. Seven little kingdoms, Northmen wouldn't wait, Hailed Northumbria and then there were eight.' And this is the price we'll pay Take a lesson from your history. 'A house divided simply cannot stand.' And this is the price we'll pay. 'And the towns one may visit via the Eastern Counties line, Formed East Anglia and then there were nine. Nine little kingdoms, the midlands people then Called themselves a parliament, and then there were ten. Ten little kingdoms never could agree, How to work together and so they went free. Ten little kingdoms to weak to stand alone, A foreign nation conquered them and then they were gone.' And this is the price we'll pay Take a lesson from your history. 'Devolution is the devil's ploy.' And this is the price we'll pay. Adapted from 'Ten Little Kingdoms' by Miss J. E. Clarke (1889).

Submitted by Warbringer — Apr 24, 2025

Like the promise of a grey day dawning Like the dreams I never had Like I'm working like a beast of burden Just like Sisyphus I know where I stand Like I need another rude awakening With all your caterwauling in my ears Like I know where all the money comes from Just like the man said "Here my dear." Like I need another cute Demelza Like I need to be a gentleman LIke I need another sweet Lolita Like I need another Jezebel 'Love is the flame of burning brandy' I take a drink from your poisoned cup Like I need another Mata Hari Like I need to see those eyes close-up Like I need another 'brief encounter' Like I need another fresh start Like I understand your indignation Like you care about my wounded heart Like I need another misadventure Like I need another dead end trail Like I need another misdirection Like I need another fairytale Like I bring a plague on all your houses Just like I'm Herod or "The King of Misrule" Like I need another stark reminder Like I'm Jonah or the April Fool Like I need to make another swan song Like I need another 'sordid boon' Like I need another born-again virgin Cut my heart out with a wooden spoon Like a ballad for the disenchanted Like a sonnet for a long-lost friend Like a requiem played on my heartstrings Like you're the last word and this is the end.

Submitted by Finntroll — Apr 24, 2025

Now "Man is born to trouble Sure as sparks to Heaven fly." So said the man sat all alone In the corner of my eye. I said, "Why the long face? Why so sad? Things cannot be that bad!" He said, "My aching bones tell of trouble on the road And you can't make light of this load" He said, "You can't make light of this load." Now just don't get me started on work, trust or money, There are not enough hours in the day. In a land where nothing works except the answering machines You have to watch what you say. All the high hopes of the Thatcher's breed Lie crushed beneath some eighties creed. Well "Moaning Minnies" we may be just don't let us explode, You can't make light of this load. They say, "You can't make light of this load." Seems that grumbling is a privilege, a pleasure and a pastime For those approaching 'middle rage.' "The burden fits the back" they say, and I know I've got mine, Thank heavens for the minimum wage! "Things only get better," they cried, But over health and work and money they lied. Well their patron saint is Meldew and complaining is the mode. You can't make light of this load. They say, "You can't make light of this load." "Oh, don't the days seem lank and long When all goes right and none goes wrong." So avoid the sad old so-and-so with his sorry episode, Who can't make light of his load, lads! Who can't make light of his load.

Submitted by Morgoth — Apr 24, 2025

Hey Mr. Auden have you heard the news? Seems they found a cure for your Roman Wall Blues. Says on the tablets that they sent back home They got dates, wine and olives direct from Rome. They got baths and medicines I've been told To cure your lice and take care of your cold. And if your eyes are sore from rain or mist You can always sign up for the old sick list. Downtown Corbridge on a Saturday night Find a local lassie to treat you right. So hey, Mr. Auden let me put you straight Did a little diggin' to bring you up to date. Well a backwater it may be But you got to brush up on your history. Lyric by Kevin Ridley with acknowledgement to Alan K. Bowman's "Life and Letters of the Roman Frontier" and Dr. Mike Ibeki at www.bbc.co.uk/history/ancient/romans/vindolanda_1.shtml

Submitted by Sexy Gargoyle — Apr 24, 2025

You think you've come so far? You think you learnt along the way? You're better off by far, Than where you were jus' yesterday, You say you got your scars There's nothing left to say. You got to look beyond, Go make some ripples in the pond, We are the things we sing All wrapped up with bows and strings You think you're everything? Accept the sense of substance over style. And take away the hype Take away the sad affairs Listen to your lies, Can't you see it now there's no-one there? We are the things we choose Come walk a mile in this man's shoes And if you're still confused Go learn to sing some hybrid blues, What have you got to lose Except your sense of ignorance and pride? And take away the hype Take away the sad affairs Listen to your lies, Can't you see it now there's no-one there? I can't tell you anymore, I can't tell you what to think or say. Take away the hard lines, Can't you see it any other way? But I still don't hear that 'inherent cry' From 'Dear Old Stockholm" to the "My-Oh-My" Make it, lose it, make it, lose it. I still don't hear that plaintive call From the Sacred Mountains to the 'Wailing Wall' Faithless, shameless, faceless, hopeless. Now I loved me a woman, don't mean a thing I loved me a woman, gave her everything 'I got stones in my passway' and I railed at the moon, There's a light in your doorway, guess who spoke too soon? Singing, "Take me, use me, love me." But I still don't hear that primal scream Of a rich man's nightmare or a poor boy's dream Have I lived too long? Have I lived at all? If life's a journey, catch me when I fall. And you're lying there like 'the bride stripped bare' In the virtual madness, in my dark dispair. Singing "Hurt me, hate me, hear me, help me." Is this hybrid offspring just a high class whore Of a pale young virgin and a wild old boar? Pointless, tasteless, thoughtless

Submitted by NecroGod — Apr 24, 2025

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