The Flesh-Eating Rollerskate Holiday Joyride
It's that time of year for goin' shopping It's that time of year for seein' grandma It's that time of year for lying to children That's right, Santa doesn't exist It's that time of year for hatin' fruitcake It's that time of year for drinkin' egg nog It's that time of year for bakin' a mince pie Betcha money by the end of the year you'll be fat Toys a plenty and choo-choo trains Summer sausage and candy canes Wal-mart santa coin donations Salvation Army dedications Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers hit the malls, and drive the economy Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers do your stuff, and make us all glad to be home Home. Home from work. About damn time I get a day off It's that time of year for hanging stockings It's that time of year for gingerbread man It's that time of year for getting a fake tree Decorate or you're not gonna eat It's that time of year for watching re-runs It's that time of year for roasting chestnuts It's that time of year for opening presents Don't forget, better clean up the mess that you made Christmas music overplayed Every minute of every day Find a present for your mother Then your dad and then your brother Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers hit the malls, and drive the economy Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers gotta Buy! Consumers do your stuff, and make us all glad to be home It's that time of year for cheesy sweaters It's that time of years for fuzzy earmuffs It's that time of year for footed pyjamas You know the ones with the hole in the butt It's that time of year for family drama It's that time of year for lots of drug use It's that time of year for having a breakdown Holidays are the days that will make you hate life
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Feb 22, 2026
Santa didn't keep his promise So he's getting his cookies and milk no more All I wanted to get for Christmas was a Boba Fett Still in original packaging, but Santa has abandoned me And I wanted me a new guitar With EMGs and a whammy bar I don't know why that's so much to ask I was good this year, but now I'm beating some ass because Santa's a bastard 'cause he wouldn't give me what I wanted for Christmas Santa's an asshole 'cause he didn't give me what I wrote on my wishlist Santa's all shady 'cause he won't deliver on the things that he promised Santa's so lazy making children suffer like a jolly old sadist Lies All I wanted to get for Christmas was a private jet With a stuardess named Angelina Jolie But Santa has forsaken me And I wanted just like every year A new liver and a truck of beer I've been so nice and real patient too But Kris Kringle's got a lot of explaining to do because Santa's a bastard 'cause he wouldn't give me what I wanted for Christmas Santa's an asshole 'cause he didn't give me what I wrote on my wishlist Santa's all shady 'cause he won't deliver on the things that he promised Santa's so lazy making children suffer like a jolly old sadist Santa brought A bunch of Socks
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Feb 22, 2026
Joy to the world while you're decking all the halls Ya better watch out or we'll kick you in the balls Here we come a-wassailing Feliz Navidad Grandma got run over by a reindeer fa-la-la Fa-la-la Crush your balls With a sleigh Jingle bells In your face Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell metal Fucking shit up with a double-bass pedal Ring-a-ling hear them ring, jolly and brutal Escape from this very merry medley is futile Dashing through the snow in a wintry wonderland The little drummer boy never really had a band Come all ye faithful in a manger heard on high Do you hear what I hear, silver bells, rum-pum-pum Rum-pum-pum Crush your balls With a sleigh Jingle bells In your face Jingle bell, jingle bell, jingle bell metal Fucking shit up with a double-bass pedal Ring-a-ling hear them ring, jolly and brutal Escape from this very merry medley is futile
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Feb 22, 2026
Silent night Silent night All is calm Silent night Whuaaaa It's so calm Whuaaaa All is calm Angry Wuaaaaa
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Feb 22, 2026
Freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak, freak My red nose, the cause of all laughter Around here I am just a goddamn chauffeur Fucking Santa, he's laughing he won't do a thing Choke on blood when you sing My name is Rudolph; I am the saddest reindeer alive But I'm gonna take control, I'm taking over the North Pole I might be smaller, but I'm the meanest reindeer alive Until I exact revenge, I'm never saving Christmas again Red snow My red nose will light up the red snow Smell the air, there's a trace of blood in my blow There's another victim waiting for me Hiding in the debris My name is Rudolph; I am the saddest reindeer alive But I'm gonna take control, I'm taking over the North Pole I might be smaller, but I'm the meanest reindeer alive Until I exact revenge, I'm never saving Christmas again No hope The misfits from the island are trained to kill on command The smell of blood excites them; recall how they were condemned These toys all shapes and sizes, devised clever disguises They'll infiltrate at midnight; prepare yourselves for a fucking fight Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Vixen Comet, Cupid, Donner and Blitzen Feel my knife on your throat and I'll grin Put a happy face under your chin Rudolph's gonna make you suffer Red snow Red snow Red snow Red snow
Submitted by Iron_Wraith — Feb 22, 2026
[Lyrics: Preiss, Kocian, Key - Music: Key, Kocian] You know that I know that we both know how resolutions end You know that you are gonna give up yet you still pretend You can't deny the fact that your convictions bend and break All you'll abandon every promise that you ever make [Pre-chorus:] You're not gonna see it through We know what you're gonna do (You're gonna fail) You're not gonna see it through (You're gonna fail) We know what I say is true [Chorus:] Happy New Year's Day 2002 and 3 were just like 4 and 5 and 6 Happy New Year's Day You just remind yourself of all the stuff you'll never fix You know that I know as well as you do it's not gonna last Did you forget results of resolutions from the past? File your intentions out of sight and out of mind You'll never follow through with promises of any kind [Pre-chorus] [Chorus] Happy Fucking New Year Submits, comments, corrections are welcomed at webmaster@darklyrics.com PSYCHOSTICK LYRICS
Submitted by johnmansley — Apr 18, 2026