The Digital Appetizer
Hey you dickhole She was flirting with me Hey you fuckface I just bought her a drink Here you swoop in while I'm taking a leak Ruining the evening She was the one, now you've won at douchebaggery I can't figure out If you are an overprotective brother A friend in the friend zone Or a dumbass bitter ex lover I really don't have time for this And now you stand in my way I got a feeling now you're here, that you're here to stay (One, two, fuck you) You're cockblock Ruining my game You're a cockblock Pathetic and lame Hey you dumb bitch Can't you leave us alone What's your problem Can't you throw me a bone Staring at me like I'm Satan himself Trying to steal her soul Go get a drink and take a break from fun patrol I can't figure out If you're an overprotective sister A jealous best friend Or a lesbian wanting to kiss her I really don't have time for this And now you stand in my way Can't take hint to take a hike, so you're here to stay (One, two, fuck you) You're a cockblock Ruining my game You're a cockblock Pathetic and lame You're a cockblock That's what you do You're a cockblock Obstructing the poon Don't you have something better to do (Go away I'm trying to get laid) Don't you have something better to do (Go away I'm trying to get laid) (You, fu-cking) Congratulations You're an asshole I hope you're happy 'Cause you're an asshole You ruined the whole night You're an asshole Why don't you eat shit and die 'Cause you're an asshole Cockblock Cockblock
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 22, 2026
Girl, you look so good to me tonight. I feel that, well, you make me all emotional and emotional like. Yeah. Let me just blast you with some affection Girl, I wanna hold your hand with you Girl, I wanna put my mouth on you Girl, I wanna be with you, with you Girl, I wanna do romance with you Yeah yeah yeah baby Do romance with you Girl, come and play D&D with me Girl, go to the DMV with me Girl, come rub a fish all over me Girl, I'll take your picture while you pee Yeah yeah yeah baby Picture while you pee Woa woa woa honey Picture while you poo Makin' love in a car Makin' love behind the bar Makin' love at the mall Makin' love in a bathroom stall Girl, I wanna take a walk with you Girl, I wanna play Xbox with you Girl, I wanna get on you, with you Girl, I wanna make some stew with you Yeah yeah yeah baby Make some stew with you Woa woa woa honey Come make some stew with me Makin' love in a tree Makin' love on a boat Makin' love at the park Makin' love in a parkin' lot I wanna wrap you up like a bean burrito I wanna get you naked and watch Speed 2 (cruise control) You make me feel like a million waffles (waffles) You make me feel really good Ya know there ain't nothing like your muffins Yeah, I wanna take you on a beer run I wanna be like, "BRBRBRB" in your boobies I wanna do you in the cornhole Oh baby I'd do anything just to kiss your vagina Girl, you made a casserole for me Girl, I wanna watch TV with you Girl, come go to check the mail with me Girl, I'm stuck with you with me with you
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 22, 2026
I wanna get an iPhone app (iPhone, iPhone, iPhone) I wanna get an iPhone app (iPhone, iPhone, iPhone) I wanna get an iPhone app That will help me out with remembering names I wanna get an iPhone app That will get me a job making video games I want it, I need it, go make it I want it, I need it, where is it I wanna have an app that calls in sick for me I want an app that will give me iPhone apps for free My brain should be connected directly Downloading books and learning stuff while I sleep I wanna get an iPhone app That will cook me a steak make it medium rare I wanna get an iPhone app That will brush my teeth, and cut my hair I want it, I need it, go make it I want it, I need it, where is it I want an app that will come and bail me out of jail I want an app that will find and bring hot chicks to nail When will they make an application That makes peace between every nation While it's ending world hunger At the same time it's finding a cure for cancer Well, what are you waiting for? Get on it! What do you mean, that's impossible? Nothing's impossible! I think somebody could use a little work on their attitude Why can't I get an iPhone app that will live my life for me Why can't I get an app that will grant me immortality I want an app that will let me update Facebook (there is) Oh well, then I want an app that will let me check my email (that comes with the phone) I want an app that will tell Josh he should go to hell (dude, not cool) I want an app that will finish out the song for me 'Cause I'm out of here (Okay, BYE. Jerk.)
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 22, 2026