N.O.E.L.
Ho ho ho Opening presents on the floor Christmas time is drawing near Let's all spread some cheer Grab your wallet, time to spend Most wonderful time of year Hiding presents in your closet Hoping that they won’t find out Season's greetings, obligations Manufactured lies from the greeting card Fa la la la la la la la la la, yule Everybody's dropping money on the people they don’t like 'Tis the season to be adding to the bottom line Eating way too many cookies, pouring eggnog in your mouth Analyzing weights of presents, shaking boxes Decorate your house with lights and bells that jingle Mind control through Christmas carols We're compelled to buy as we sing along Pa-rum pum pum pum pum pum pum, brblrlbl Everywhere you go Christmas songs are playing all the time Never-ending marathon, enough of "It's a Wonderful Life" Everybody's going caroling, you better run and hide Awkwardly they harmonize, I contemplate suicide Buy stuff, it's Christmas time And we all live in a consumer nation Black Friday, door-buster sale Murdering for savings Murdering for savings Murdering for savings Trampling people at the door Who did I even buy this for? Smash some heads against the floor These bargains will start a war These bargains will start a war These bargains will start a war Why don't you visit family more? Buy off your guilt like just before Buy more 'til everybody’s poor Why don’t you spend some more? How 'bout we spend some more?
Submitted by Warbringer — Jul 03, 2026