IV: Revenge of the Vengeance
No lyrics have been submitted for this track yet.
Mustache? No Sideburns? No Goatee? Maybe Beard? Beard! Do you feel alone? Do you feel neglected? Not doin' too well with the ladies? Well I got the solution for you! Low self esteem? Grow a beard! Afraid to follow your dreams? Grow a beard! Are you lonely and sad? Grow a beard! Wanna look good in plaid? Grow a beard! Are you workin' out? Grow a beard! Did your car break down? Grow a beard! Ice caps melting? Grow a beard! Are you stuck in the middle of nowhere and you need to make an important phone call But the battery's dead and you can't find an outlet to plug in your charger? Grow a beard! Grow the beard! Feed the beard! Brush the beard! Manscape the beard! Stroke the beard! Love the beard! Fear the beard! Obey the beard! Obey the beard! (Obey the beard!) Behold the beard! (Obey the beard!) Accept the beard! (Obey the beard!) Respect the beard! (Obey the beard!) "Oh my god, Becky, look at his beard! It's just so... beard!" Impress your date, with your beard! Eat a steak, with a beard! Chop down trees, with a beard! Crush your enemies, with a beard! Catch a fish, with a beard! Roundhouse kick, with a beard! Trawl the net, with a beard! Chia pet? Ch-ch-ch-chia, beard! Drive a truck, with a beard! Try your luck, with a beard! Arm wrestle, with a beard! Teenage Mutant Ninja beard Pet your doggie, with a beard! I pledge allegiance to the beard! Can't grow a beard? Then buy a beard! Do you have a beard? Then grow more beard "You need to shave this thing!" Shut up, Grandma, grow a beard! Defend the beard! Drink to the beard! 'Cause beards are good... And scruff! (Obey the beard!) Behold the beard! (Obey the beard!) Accept the beard! (Obey the beard!) Respect the beard! (Obey the beard!) I was so empty and lost inside 'Til I grew you ('til I grew you) I put my faith in my facial hair To get me through Well I can defy the odds again and again With you on my chin (you on my chin) With every moment you grow closer and closer To my heart "Sigh... I love you beard." "If you love it so much, why don't you just marry it?" "Huh..." "Do you take this beard to be your lawfully wedded beard, for bearder or for worse, in scruffiness and in beard, 'til shave do you part?" "I beard!" (Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard! Beard!) Abe Lincoln had a beard ZZ Top, epic beards! Dimebag Darrell, metal beard! Chuck Norris, kickass beard! Number one, make it beard! Chewbacca, is a beard! Santa Claus, Jesus Christ God... has a beard! Obey the beard! Obey the beard! Obey the beard! Obey the beard!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
All hail President Rhino All hail (Rhinoceros commander-in-chief) All hail President Rhino All hail All hail Republicans think they got a solid economic platform Rhinoceros has two horns Democrats want to raise the tax on the rich A Rhino's skin is grey and thick Rhino will bore through your entrails Swat flies with his thick tail Debate social issues When it’s time to vote you know what to do (Vote Rhino) All hail President Rhino All hail (Rhinoceros commander-in-chief) All hail President Rhino All hail All hail "President Rhino how do you plan to turn around this country's economy?" (Rhino Noises) "President Rhino, what's your stance on abortion?" (Rhino Noises) "President Rhino is it true that you have a charging ground speed of over thirty miles an a hour?" (Rhino Noises) The people loved him for his brutal honesty Till he mauled a crowd of people at a orphan charity When Rhino's term was finally ending His support had started waning Grazing on the White House lawn The press revealed that he was lazy Foreign policies in question Poachers gone, yet still in recession Rhino just wants to stampede I think it's time that he secedes How could we all believe that such a prehistoric beast who barely sees could have capacity to lead the country to prosperity? Re-elect President Rhino! (Re-elect rhinoceros commander-in-chief) Re-elect President Rhino! Bring back the rhino All hail President Rhino! (All hail rhinoceros commander-in-chief) All hail President Rhino! All hail! All hail!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
Our tuning is so boring! Down tune to make it heavy! Like this? Lower! Like this? Go lower! Lower! Lower! Lower! Like this? Lower! Lower! Lower! Beyond reason But I'm already tuned to G! Lower it to H! No! H-Flat! There's no such thing as H-Flat!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
This song is so heavy It makes you want to headbutt a mountain This song is so heavy It makes razor blades taste like candy This song is so heavy! It makes you want to punch a tornado This song is so heavy This chorus is nothing but growling Oooooh, uuuuuhh, ahhhhhh (Ooh, ooh, ah) Oooooh, uuuuuhh, ahhhhhh (Ooh uh) (Ooh, uh, ah) Ooooooohhh You scream high, I scream low Doesn't this sound fucking amazing? Those vocals were so heavy It makes your grandma have a baby Can you understand what I'm saying? Cookie cookie... want a cookie! This song is so heavy (oooh!) It's actually kind of exhausting Oooooh, uuuuuhh, ahhhhhh (Ooh, ooh, ah) Oooooh, uuuuuhh, ahhhhhh (Ooh uh) (Ooh, uh, ah) Oooooh, uuuuuhh, ahhhhhh (Ooh, uh, ah) Oooooh, uuuuuhh, ahhhhhh I'm playing this rhythm with my right arm while I'm Flexing my bicep on the other arm And then I give it a kiss because I love my guns And I don't think that you've had enough let's break it down A little bit softer now A little less brutal now A little bit softer now A little bit lower gain A little bit softer now A little less brutal now A little bit softer now A little less in your face A little bit louder now A little more brutal now A little bit louder now A little bit higher gain A little bit louder now A little more brutal now A little bit louder now A little more in your face Double bass (in your face!) Double bass (in your face!) Jog in place (jog in place!) Jog in place (jog in place!) Teabag the stage (teabag the stage!) Teabag the stage! This song was so heavy My eyes and eardrums are now bleeding This song was so heavy It reached the point of nauseating This song was so heavy Somebody get me a barf bucket please This song was so heavy Dude, get him a bucket, he's about to...*Joshy pukes* uh The end
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
I'm a dog and I like socks I like socks, I'm a dog I'm a dog and I like socks I like socks, I'm a dog Gimme that sock Om-nom-nom Gimme that sock Om-nom-nom We are dogs and we like socks We like socks, we are dogs We are dogs and we like socks We like socks, we are dogs Dogs, dogs, dogs Socks, socks, socks Dogs, socks, dogs Socks, dogs, socks I'm a dog and I enjoy playing with socks for some reason Don't judge me! We are dogs We like socks I'm a dog I love socks Pick up the sock Then throw the sock I'll catch the sock And bring back the sock Pick up the sock (I'm a dog) Then throw the sock (I am a dog) I'll catch the sock (I'm a dog) And bring back the sock (I'm a doggie) Pick up the sock (I'm a dog) Then throw the sock (I am a dog) I'll catch the sock (I'm a dog) And bring back the sock I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm a doggie (I'm a dog) I'm a doggie, doggie, doggie, doggie, doggie, doggie Doggie, doggie, doggie, doggie, doggie, doggie dog That likes socks!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
No lyrics have been submitted for this track yet.
I'm being watched By a duck And with a little bit of luck I can move away and never fear again I saw his beak He made a smirk Then he dunked his head to lurk And turned my blood to ice within my veins I would migrate north if you could guarantee That there are no ducks in the Arctic sea Their waddling gives me anxiety Whenever they're following me (Quack) I'm afraid of a duck (With their creepy webbed feet) I'm afraid of a duck (And their razor sharp beak) I'm afraid of duck (They have beady black eyes) I'm afraid of a duck (And they're staring at me) You dirty cloaca go back to your flock of Paddling revolting floating freeloading poultry (Quack, quack, quack, quack Quack, quack, quack Quack, quack, quack, quack, quack) Here they come I think I'm marked Every time I'm at the park A miscreant comes to steal my bread Drop your things and Run for the car 'Cause if you don't make it that far They'll feast upon your fallen corpse instead There is nothing more fowl than a drake on a lake Staring me down until I finally break A flap of their wings gives me a panic attack And I don't have the strength to fight back (Quack, quack) I'm afraid of a duck (They would kill you for your bread) I'm afraid of a duck (Then eat your liver instead) I'm afraid of a duck (I'm not overreacting) I'm afraid of a duck (Stop laughing at me) You think that it's funny, just wait 'til they're coming Don't you know birds of a feather murder together? He's watching me (They're after me) He's watching me (They're after me) He's watching me (They're after me) He's watching me (He's....) Shh I'm afraid of that duck I'm afraid of that other duck I'm afraid of the flock And all my friends think I should see a QUACK But I'm not cool with that Claiming ducks are all innocent, THEY'RE NOT Little pieces of shit, they bit me when I was a kid Ruined my fucking life I could have been president, but look at me now! I'm in this stupid band! I'm not crazy you see Look, they hunt in a flying "V" And it's pointed at me My worst nightmare descends upon OH GOOOOD! GET THEM OFF ME! GET THEM OFF ME! GODDAMN BIRDS! BIRDS EVERYWHERE! SHIT! SHIT! NO! NOOOO! AHHHHH! NO! NO! NO! GO AWAY! FUCK! PIECE OF—GODDAMNIT! "What do you think, doc, do you think I'm crazy? "It sounds like you got a classic case of 'Anatidaephobia' which is a fear of being watched by ducks. I recommend that you go to the store, buy many loaves of bread and feed the ducks. Feed all the ducks, feeeed the ducks" "That's your advice?" "Feed them" "Who gave you your degree?" "I attended the university of quack Where I got my masters in quack, I moved on to quack Then..." "No" "QUACK" "QUACK" "No, no, NO" NOOO! NOOOO! AHH! NOT AGAIN! NOT AGAIN! OH! OH! THERE IS NO GOD! AHHH! AHHH! AHHHHH!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
I can't believe it went down this way I had so much left to save I thought that we would last forever But now I'm taking it day by day Oh what I'd give to have you again But there's no way I can get in You shut me out of my whole world now My heart is in the recycle bin And I.... Don't know why Backups weren't on my mind Till the day my computer died My hard drive fried and I cried I was too careless Now it's repairless I know that's not a word, but I don't give a f***less And now that you won't load Not even in safe mode I gotta check e-mail on my phone I feel as blue as my screen Your error message is true You formatted my heart And partitioned it in two I'm trying so hard to be strong To be a man who can take a fall I guess I had to learn the hard way The price of making you hold it all Now fate has forced me to interact With human beings who talk and laugh I'm in a hell of social functions Fresh air and sun have turned my heart black And I... Know I tried For the data you had inside Disk utilities couldn't find Why my access was denied Now it's all over I'll never recover The memories you stored Must have been a bad sector And now you're so empty You boot up to nothing Now I gotta look up stuff in books I feel as blue as my screen Your error message is true You formatted my heart And partitioned it in two "Ugh...ugh, come on! Really? Really? Ugh!" I saw you wouldn't get started; I tried running GParted Through the night just to find you couldn't be revived I had to lose all my shit to learn to never forget That you can never depend on just a single drive The saves to my games and all my porn I miss you, I miss you (Porn!) I'll heal with time, but for now I miss you, I miss you Miss you, miss you Miss you, miss you Miss you, miss you, miss you, miss you Miss you, miss you, miss you, miss you Miss you, miss you, miss you I feel as blue as my screen Your error message is true You formatted my heart And partitioned it in two I hit Control Alt Delete I guess there's no other way Now I'm formatting C colon But you come up blank
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck-fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck-fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck-fuck, fuck, fuck-fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck fuck-fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck Fuckety fuckety fuck fuck, fuck! Fuckety fuckety fuck fuck, fuck! Fuckety fuckety fuck, fuckety fuckety fuck Fuckety fuckety fuck, fuckety fuckety fuckety fuckety fuckety Fuckety fuckety fuck, fuck! Fuckety fuckety fuck, fuck Fuckety fuck, fuckety fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck, fucking fuck Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck Fuck, fuck, fucking fuck, fucking fuck Fucking fuck, fucking fuck Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! (fuckety fuckety) Fuck! (fuckety fuckety) Fuck! (fuckety fuckety) Fuck! (fuckety fuckety) Ladies and gentlemen...Bill Manspeaker of Green Jellÿ! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckety fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckety fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckety fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckety... Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! (fuck fuck fuck fuck) Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! (fuck fuck fuck fuck) Fuck fuck fuck fuck! (fuck fuck fuck fuck) Fuck fuck fuck fuck! (fuck fuck fuck fuck) Fuck fuck fuck fuck! (fuck) Fuck! (fuck) Fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck... Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck-fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck-fuck, fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fucking fuck, fuck, fucking fuck, fuck Fuck! Fuck fuck, fuck fuck, fuck fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fucky fucky fucky fucky fuck...fuck! Fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck! Fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck! Fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck! Fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck! Fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck! Fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck! Fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck! Fucker fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuckety fuck, fuck. Fuckety fuck, fuck Fuckety fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck Fuck, (fuck), fuck, (fuck), fuck, (fuck), fuck, (fuck!) Fuck, fuck fuck, fuck Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck! (fuck fuck fuck fuck!) Fuck fuck, fuck, fuck fuck Fuck Shit!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
(Kick the tires and light the fires, go!) Revvin' up your engine Listen to her howlin' roar Metal under tension Beggin' you to touch and go Highway to the danger zone Ride into the danger zone Headin' into twilight Spreadin' out her wings tonight She got you jumpin' off the deck And shovin' into overdrive Highway to the danger zone I'll take you Right into the danger zone You'll never say hello to you Until you get it on the red-line overload You'll never know what you can do Until you get it up as high as you can go Out along the edge Is always where I burn to be The further on the edge The hotter the intensity Highway to the danger zone I'm gonna take you Right into the danger zone Highway to the danger zone Right into the danger zone "I'm gonna take my shirt off and play volleyball in the danger zone Then I'm gonna go buy some shoes, dangerously And then I'm gonna go home and sit in my danger-zone chair And look at the danger-zone internet." Tom Cruise and Val Kilmer in the locker room in underwear Take my breath away! I asphyxiate 'cause you took away my breath I need it to live Give me back my breath!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
And now Bill Manspeaker of Green Jellÿ gets a visit from his new neighbors "I can't wait to meet our new neighbors" "I'm sure they're delightful." "Hey!" "Hi, we're your new neighbors." "I gotta joke for you, alright?" "Sure." "Knock knock" "Who's there?" "Fucking get out of my fucking house you fuck!" "Hey, we just came over here to introduce ourselves." "Probably because you're a fucking moron!" "We don't need to take this abuse!" "I got another one for you Why'd the chicken cross the road?" "Listen sir!" "Get the fuck outta here!" "You can't talk to her like that." "He's taking his clothes off!" "Ah, look out, here comes Snakey!" "Oh my god, let's get outta here. " "That guy's crazy" "I'll fuck a dog but I won't fuck my cousin!" "I think we should move." "You piece of fucking shit."
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
Picture an elderly lady peeking through her blinds You wave her a friendly hello, while she glares with judging eyes Her glasses held by chains on pointy 1960s frames They help her see your faults as she's squinting with disdain A retired English teacher with an overwhelming fragrance Still alive, too stubborn to die, and death don't have the patience She has more cats than children by an order of magnitude And whenever she loses at bingo, she takes it out on you Calls the cops on her rotary phone Every time you try to mow the lawn Close your blinds, lock your doors (Evil wench) I mind my business, now you mind yours (Nosy bitch) Keep to yourself and stay off my grass (Cranky hag) Now get off my porch and get off my ass (Yeah!) Get off my ass Go back inside Stay in your home Leave me alone Get off my ass (get off my ass!) Go back inside (Go back inside!) Stay in your home. (Stay in your home!) Leave me alone (Leave me alone) Imagine a jerk in his 40s In front of the broke down house that he rents Not all that bright, chugging Natural Light Flicking cigarette butts over your fence Screaming all day at his beat up truck that he always fails to repair More stains on his shirt than teeth in his mouth And he doesn't seem to care A former high school quarterback With delusions of long past glory Blasts '80s crap from his Pontiac As he tells you his whole life story He parks and blocks my driveway Then dumps his cup of tobacco spit Setting fireworks off after midnight? I'm about to lose my sh...temper Mows his lawn at 2 AM (I shit you not) He likes me, but I hate him Deadbeat dad, he doesn't pay child support He looks like Carl from Aqua Teen Hunger Force (huh... yeah!) Close your blinds, lock your doors (Fucking hick!) I mind my business, now you mind yours (Stupid douche!) Keep to yourself and stay off my grass (Eat a dick!) Now get off my porch and get off my ass Get off my ass Go back inside Stay in your home Leave me alone Get off my ass (get off my ass!) Go back inside (Go back inside!) Stay in your home. (Stay in your home!) Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone Leave me alone We all hate the HOA All the homes they look the same The mortgage states the house belongs to me You need to chill the fuck out and get off of my property Some are so friendly but Some of them are enemies Makes me neurotic and keeps me on guard Battling those neighbors with tolerant diplomacy Tempts me to empty my bleach on their yard I pour bleach on your yard (I) Spelled "bitch" on your lawn (Yeah) that's right Fuck your grass Loathe thy neighbor
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
Monster trucks...are fucking awesome Running shit over...that's fuckin' awesome! Mowing the lawn...that isn't awesome! Monster trucks that mow the lawn... Now that'd be awesome All that shit that's fuckin' awesome Give it to me Give it to me All that shit that isn't awesome you can keep it! Blowjobs...are fucking awesome! Bubble Wrap...is sort of awesome!? Staplers...I guess they're awesome ...Yeah they can be awesome? Right? Clipping shit together...That's productive! All that shit that's fuckin' awesome Give it to me! Give it to me! All that shit that's sort of awesome I'm indifferent! Trampolines direct deposit fighter jets and nachos all Awesome, awesome Acid rain and moldy cheese and waiting in line at the DMV All not awesome, not awesome, uh-uh Frozen pizza, Styrofoam and clothes hangers and soap I could take it or leave it Awesome things are awesome and the things that aren't are not And that's the way of the land That's just the way the world is, man Burning alive...is not awesome But waking up to a puppy...that's cute and awesome! Finding a dollar...that's pretty awesome! Supplemental income, yeah, now we're talking! I can't wait to spend my dollar What should I get? What I get? 99 cent store or dollar menu cheeseburger All that stuff that's fucking awesome Give it to me, give it to me I am totally serious I'm not asking but I'm demanding Give it to me, give it to me How'd you like it if I strapped you down And pulled your fingernails out Give it to me, give it to me All you gotta do to end the pain Is give me awesome stuff so Give it to me, give it to me Thanks
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
First aid for choking Step one, ask, "Are you choking?" This is the universal choking sign Step two, have someone call EMS ambulance Telephone 911 If victim can speak, breathe, or cough... Stand by, but do not interfere And wait for professional help Step 3 If victim cannot speak If victim cannot breathe If victim cannot cough Perform Heimlich maneuver until food or object is forced out If victim becomes unconscious... Clear mouth Then Perform abdominal thrusts 5-10 times Repeat steps until food or object is forced out Then do mouth-to-mouth or CPR as necessary Repeat steps until food or object is forced out Then do mouth-to-mouth or CPR as necessary Step one (again), ask, "Are you still choking?" Step two, still waiting on the ambulance, where are they, traffic jam, possibly Wait a sec, flashing lights, here they come, finally! This song is legit information It could save somebody's life someday If you find yourself in this situation Remember what we had to say then Perform abdominal thrusts Again!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
Fight to the death for the last slice of pizza You've gotta want it more than him Fight to the death for the last pizza slice It's time to make a stand You've gotta punch him in the face Then he punches you in the face back Then you punch him in the face once again And it makes him madder And he punches you in the face back And then you punch him in the face yet again Then you punch each other continuously Look at this guy He thinks he knows karate But he doesn't know karate You've gotta put him in his place With your fist or maybe a kick in the dick Yeah, now maybe stomp his ribs and liver Oh, fuck! That totally backfired Now he's coming for you What'chu gonna do? And something other funny thing... It's gone to the ground like UFC But it's really pretty damn boring They're just lying there holding each other It's technical and not exciting to watch Punch! Knee strike! Jab! Kidney punch! Eye gouge! Wet Willy! Elbow drop! Potato chips! And he's up and moving again Now it's exciting again What is he gonna do next? He's gonna play a guitar solo! Holy shit! He's got a pointy stick He's gonna try to stab you with the pointy stick Don't take that shit! You've gotta form a defense The only option now left is to hit him with a truck Fight to the death for the last can of beer! Fight to the death for the last toilet paper! Fight to the death 'cause a dish in the sink! Fight to the death to see who gets the mail! Fight to the death to see who gets to fight Alex to the death! Fight to the death! Fight to the death over various stuff!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
Bruce Campbell is the finest man to grace a silver screen All the other actors just degrade his noble scenes The Oscars should award him for his wondrous career Hold a town parade for him with each movie premiere Bruce Campbell (Bruce Campbell) We're gonna be best friends Gonna come to your house and watch Hercules From season 1 till the end I'll hand you everything I own And you'll sign it all for me Then we'll start rehearsing for Cave Alien 3 Bruce Lorne Campbell should be offered every lead Imagine him as Spider-Man, a finer choice indeed Casablanca could’ve been improved if Campbell would’ve said Here’s lookin’ at you…you primitive screw-head Bruce Campbell (Bruce Campbell) Dert dert da dert dert dert Gonna come to your house and put Xena on And not sleep till it's done I got the whole box set for Brisco County, too I love you and to prove it's true I'm gonna play a kazoo Bruce "Ash" Campbell is a truly stellar man He bravely fought the deadites but a chainsaw took his hand Coincidentally, I have one I barely ever use I’ll saw it off and ship it to the charming, handsome Bruce Bruce Campbell (Bruse Campbell) I need the measurements for your chin Gonna get me a jawbone implant And I'm gonna be your twin Then I'll get me a tattoo of your face And put it right on my...face Then we'll fly into outer space and... Hey Bruce, where are you going? Bruce Campbell (gonna find you) You can't hide from me I found your house on Google maps And just watched you go pee When I find you, I'm gonna clone you Take your DNA against your will I'll make 8,000 Bruce Campbells To build Bruce Campbellville Bruce!
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
And now Bill Manspeaker of Green Jellÿ gets a visit from some little trick 'r' treaters "What the fuck are you kids doing on my fucking lawn?!" "Trick or Treat" "Fuck you!" "But Mister Manspeaker, it's Halloween." "You fucking fucks, can't you read the fucking sign?! It says no fucking fucks allowed !" "Please, just look into your heart and..." "Fuck you!"
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
"What's up bitches!" "We are Psychostick!" "Ugh, what's with the feedback?" "I dunno what's wrong, I can't stop it." "Everyone's leaving" "Stop at the merch table on your way out" "What is that out there?" "It looks like a...dimensional time portal!" "Action 5 Extreme Super News, we interrupt your regular programming to bring you this extremely super breaking news update." "We're live at Festival Fest where it appears a dimensional time portal has emerged during a set by heavy metal band Pi-ska-stick (Am I pronouncing that right?) The mob of concert goers are fleeing in terror as the band still attempts to preform. We go live to the scene" I'm a dog and I have..."Ugh, come on guys where are you going?" "We have received word that the U.S. military is developing a contingency plan to deal with the dimensional time portal as we speak." "General. (Hooha!) At ease. At 1500 hours we experienced a tear in space time reality and dimensional time portal caused by the feedback of a band called Cyclonestrike." "Actually sir, it's Psychostick." "I don't care. I say we nuke the damn thing." "Umm sir, shouldn't we found out more about the..." "I said nuke it." "Everyone's still leaving." "Forget it guys, I guess a supernatural phenomenon is enough to make people leave a concert." "Who are you?" "I am Rawb from an alternate dimension in the future." "Sup." "I'm here to tell you that the dimensional time portal is blending our universes. Our world has been enslaved by haunted panties and if they cross over, women will never......put out....again." "Woah!" "Dude, the guy looks just like Rawb." "I know, right?" "Handsome." "Reports are in that the dimensional time portal is causing a strange behavior in the majority of the female population. Their undergarments are glowing and they appear to be no longer interested in sexual activity." "Hey Jennifer, you wanna go for a drink Friday night?" "Sorry Jake, I have a lot of abstinence to do." "I had no idea that my panties were glow-in-the-dark. Hey Jenny are you going out with Tom tonight?" "Uhh, no. Guys are the worst." "You're right and coitus is for losers." "You see, only you can reverse it." "If the military nukes this dimensional time portal it will open completely and there is no stopping it." "What do we do?" "Embrace the power of music and distortion. Play the one thing that will bring an end to this dimension of terror and rudeness. All you have to do is....ah ah ah!" "Well, there he goes" "So what do we do?" "We do what that guy who looked like Rawb says we do." "We close this rift with metal."
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
Slap and pop, to make your panties drop Guitar slides, to slip them down your thighs Drum fills will make you squeal! Blue screens gonna make you scream Ah! We release the power of brutal break downs The power of metal compels you to return to Your place of origin Or the nearest parallel dimension Now Go back to the hell from whence you came
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026
"Coming in to your ear holes They took their wallets They took their jobs But...heh...butt." High-- Highway to the blah blah High-- Mine, that is mine. Give that to me, that is mine I saw it first! It's mine, I want that pizza Get off my ass (Get off my ass) Go back inside (Go back inside) Stay in your hole (Stay back in KAMEeRERereREERr....) Our tuning is boring! Boring, boring, boring, is this lined up? Lower it, beyond reason, beyoOoOoOnd reasOoOoOn RRRAAAAAAAAH... Dammit!! Hey guys this is Joe I am reading for Dr. Duck, that's what we're gonna call him. Soon as those people are playing Shut the fuck up Feed the ducks, feed all the ducks (FEED THE DUCKS) You think thats funny, wait till they're coming Don't you know... We've experienced a tear in space time reality "Why do you have me doing this? I had no idea glow in the dark. Hey Jenna are you going out with tom tonight?" This shit's so ridiculous I need you all to act like Godzilla is attacking you right now, go! Celebrate like we just killed Godzilla and saved the world, go! Everybody go bbbbbllll Hey Alex, hook me up with a brew? Wants ta have some of the brewskis! Get a brewski (That's terrible) Damm stoopid ass robe There's no such thing as H-Flat That was awesome! (That was hilarious! No such thing as H-flat!) Here at Psychostick industries we are committed to brining you the finest of stupid metal songs During our research and development we strive to be on the cutting edge of whatever it is we do here Our latest collection of sounds compiled by punching guitars and throwing snare drums down stairwells have been clinically tested to ensure our golden caliber of excellence (And by clinically tested, I mean I got drunk and played them for this guy Cory who lives down the street. I think he works in a clinic. You never can tell with Cory.) When you are listening to a Psychostick song, you should be confident of the fact that it is composed of vibrations that form a mechanical wave of pressure and displacement which travel through the air where they are transmitted to you nerve and then relays information to your temporal lobe where it is registered as sound We guarantee to bring only the finest of stupid metal songs with the comfort of our golden promise. They will always be between 20Hz and 20 KHZ, the range of human hearing Psychostick industries: Go fuck yourself
Submitted by Immortal — Feb 22, 2026