Three Little Pigs
Why don't you sit right back And I, I may tell you a tale A tale of three little pigs And a big bad wolf Well the first little piggy, well he was kinda hick-y Spent most of his days just a-dreamin' of the city And then one day, he bought a guitar He moved to Hollywood to become a star But living on the farm, he knew nothing of the city Built his house out of straw, what a pity Then one day, jammin' on some chords Along came the wolf knocking on his door Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin! Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin! Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in! Well the second little piggy, well he was kinda stoned He spent most of his time just a-ganja smokin' Hoppin' and a-boppin' down on Venice Beach Getting paid money for religious speech Built his shelter from what he garbage picked Mostly made up of old cans and sticks Then one day he was cranking up Bob Marley Along came the Wolf on his big bad Harley Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin! Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin! Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in! Well the third little piggy, the grade A student His daddy was a rock star, named Pig Nugent Earned his Master's degree from Harvard College Built his house from his architect knowledge A tri-level mansion, Hollywood Hills Daddy's rock stardom paid for the bills Then one day came the old house smasher The big bad wolf, the little piggy slasher Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin! Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin! Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in! Well the big bad wolf Well he huffed, and he puffed, all that he could And lo and behold, the little piggy's house stood "It's made out of concrete," the little piggy shouted The wolf just frowned as he pouted So they called nine-eleven, like any piggy would They sent out Rambo, just as fast as they could "Yo, Wolf-face. I'm your worst nightmare. Your ass is mine!" (gunshots) Well the wolf fell dead as you can plainly see And that's the end of this story, for you and me If you still give a listen, you just may Hear the big wolf or little piggies say Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin! Little Pig, Little Pig, let me in Not by the hair of my chinny, chin, chin! Well I'm huffin', I'm puffin', I'll blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin', puffin', blow your house in Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in! Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in! Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in! Huffin' and a puffin' and I'll blow your house in! And the moral of the story is that bands with no talent can easily amuse idiots with a stupid puppet show
Submitted by The Void — Mar 28, 2026