Erode

THE CONTRADICTIONS CONSUME ME. AT LEAST, THIS IS SOMETHING I’D LIKE TO IMAGINE, YET CAN’T. ACTUALLY, IT IS ME MYSELF, WHO ERODES AT THE CONTRADICTIONS. SO MUCH BARELY AN ILLUSION I DESPERATELY TRY TO KEEP. THE ATTEMPT OF BURSTING THROUGH; A BLATANT MISTAKE. SOMEHOW, CHANGING EVERYTHING FOR THE BETTER, IS WHAT I TRIED AND FAILED AT. BRIGHT COLOURS MINGLE IN WHAT I INTERPRET AS QUIET BLISS, AS THEY MEET THE WATER‘S SURFACE AND A WARM WIND KISSES MY CHIN. IF ONLY DYING WOULD BE THAT BEAUTIFUL. I SUBMERGE MYSELF IN THE WATER AND HOLD MY BREATH UNTIL MY LUNGS BEGIN TO BURN. MY HEAD SPINS, YET STRANGELY I AM CONSCIOUS OF MYSELF AND MY BODY AS NEVER BEFORE. THE COLOURS THAT USED TO BE SO BRIGHT, BECOME BLACK.

Submitted by Corpse Grinder — Apr 26, 2025

THE ETERNAL CONFLICTS WITH MYSELF I BEAR, SINCE DECADES A PERPETUAL, INELUCTABLE DECAY. I FEEL OLD; FORLORNNESS BECAME MERELY AN IMPULSE. ANGST IS THE ONLY THING THAT KEEPS ME GOING ON, THOUGH, I HAVE LITTLE HOPE LEFT FOR THINGS TO CHANGE. THE ONLY REASON I STILL LIVE IS BECAUSE I AM TOO AFRAID TO DIE. WHAT EMPATHY WAS I FORGOT YEARS AGO. LOOKING BACK, IT FEELS LIKE THE SEDUCTION OF BLINDNESS. PLEASE UNDERSTAND, THAT I CAN’T TRUST IN THE HAND I TRIED TO PULL OUT OF FURIOUS LOATHING ANYMORE, WHEN IT NOW STRIKES DOWN ON ME. NO, YOU CAN’T ARGUE THAT THEY ARE SEDUCED BY THEIR LEADERS, THEY ARE WHAT MAKES THEM SOME. BEING WELCOMED BY A MOB CARRYING TORCHES ISN’T EXACTLY WHAT I HOPED FOR. FEELING THE RAIN PATTERING ON MY FACE, AGAIN I KNOW THAT THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM OPAQUE DESPOTISM. I WEIGHTLESSLY FLOAT THROUGH THE MESSY ENTRANCE OF WHAT THEY CHOSE TO BE MY NEW HOME. I HAVE THE URGENT FEELING I WON‘T LEAVE THIS PLACE ANYMORE. NO, I DON’T TRUST IN HUMANITY.

Submitted by The Void — Apr 26, 2025

I PERISH IN THE MASSES AND SOMEHOW THIS GIVES ME COMFORT. I FEEL ASHAMED; SOLELY IN THE SORROW OF OTHERS I AM ABLE TO FORGET. I CAME TO A POINT WHERE THE DISCONTENT OF OTHERS GIVES ME PEACE. I FEEL HATRED FOR MYSELF THE MOMENT I REALIZE MY OWN SADISM. I AM FEELING SHIVERS. FEAR OF CHANGE AND AN IMMANENT INTRISIC IGNORANCE TAKE TURNS WITH IMMACULATE NOTHINGNESS. IN THE ONE MOMENT I DEGENERATE INTO PANICKED STIFFNESS, IN THE OTHER, THROUGH A DEEP EMOTIONAL UNDERTOW, I CAN’T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME I FELT JOY OR EVEN EMPATHY. OVER THE LAST WHILE I THOUGHT ALOT ABOUT HOW ENTHUSIASTIC I ONCE WAS. HOW I TRIED TO MOTIVATE, MOVE AND INSPIRE THE PEOPLE SURROUNDING ME. IN REFLECTION OF WHAT I DECAYED INTO THIS FEELS LIKE A PUNCH IN THE STOMACH. MY GUTS AND MY HEAD HURT, BUT MAYBE THAT’S THROUGH THE CONSTANT LACK OF FOOD AND CLEAN WATER. MAYBE I’M JUST TO CONCERNED WITH MY EMOTIONAL STATE AND SHOULD JUST TRY TO GO ON MANAGE STUFF SOMEHOW. BUT I BROKE AND THE WORST THING IS THAT I AM CONSCIOUS OF IT. I JUST CAN’T.

Submitted by Cyberwaste — Apr 26, 2025

IT FEELS LIKE DARK HAZE CRAWLING INTO MY VERY SOUL WHEN I SEE ALL THE MEMORIES, ALL THE TEARS SUDDENLY BURSTING INTO FLAMES IN FRONT OF ME. IT FEELS LIKE AN ETERNITY UNTIL I FINALLY MANAGE TO TURN MY BACK TO OUR BURNING HOUSE. I FEEL THE ARM OF SANITY SLOWLY PULLING ME AWAY FROM THE FIRE; HEAVY LIES ITS WEIGHT ON MY SHOULDERS. I FIRMLY BELIEVED I COULD CHANGE EVERYTHING FOR THE BETTER BUT NOW ALL HOPE IS BURNING DOWN IN FRONT OF ME. SINCE SHE DIED THIS HOUSE WAS THE LAST STRAW I CLUTCHED AT; HOME. IT’S NOW TIME FOR ME TO LEAVE  NOTHING KEEPS ME HERE ANYMORE. WELL IT’S NOT THAT I HAD ANY OTHER OPTION BUT LEAVING MY WHOLE LIVE BEHIND ANYWAY. IN THE DISTANCE I CAN HEAR A SHOT FIRED BEHIND MY BACK. YES, I DO ONLY LIVE ON MY OWN BEHALF NOW.

Submitted by The Void — Apr 26, 2025