Everything’s Ruined
Things worked out better than we had planned Capital from boy, woman and man We're like ink and paper Numbers on a calculator Knew arithmetic so well Working overtime Completed what was assigned We had to multiply ourselves A bouncing little baby A shiny copper penny And he spent himself Would not listen to us But when he lost his appetite He lost his weight and friends Baby became a fat nickel so fast Then came puberty Exponentially Soon our boy became a million People loved him so And helped him to grow Everyone knew the thing that was best Of course, he must invest A penny won't do But he made us proud He made us rich But how were we to know He's counterfeit Now everything's ruined
Submitted by Lake of Tears — Apr 26, 2025
Go on and wring my neck Like when a rag gets wet A little discipline For my pet genius My head is like lettuce Go on dig your thumbs in I cannot stop giving I'm thirty-something Sense of security Like pockets jingling Midlife crisis Suck ingenuity Down through the family tree You're perfect, yes, it's true But without me you're only you Your menstruating heart It ain't bleedin' enough for two It's a midlife crisis... What an inheritance The salt and the kleenex Morbid self attention Bending my pinky back A little discipline A donor by habit A little discipline Rent an opinion Sense of security Holding blunt instrument I'm a perfectionist And perfect is a skinned knee You're perfect, yes, it's true But without me you're only you Your menstruating heart It ain't bleedin' enough for two It's a midlife crisis...
Submitted by NecroGod — Apr 18, 2026
You have a winning way, so keep it Your future You are an angel heading for a land of sunshine And fortune is smiling upon you Prepare for a series of a comfortable miracles From fasting to feasting And life to you is a dashing, bold adventure So sing, and rejoice and sing and rejoice And look for the dream that keeps coming back Your future Pat yourself on the back and give yourself a handshake Cause everything is not yet lost... Does life seem worthwhile to you? Does life seem worthwhile to you? Here's how to order! Yes... mmhmm... now for the next question: Does emotional music have quite an effect on you? Do you feel sometimes that age is against you? Sing and rejoice and sing and rejoice Yes, that's interesting, but tell me: Do you often sing or whistle just for fun? Do you feel sometimes that age is against you? I-I can help-I can help you-I can help you help yourself! Does life seem worthwhile to you? Does life seem worthwhile to you? Here's how to order! Varicose Comatose Senile
Submitted by Pestilence — Apr 18, 2026