Fairytales of Filth
Poor fellow Sheamus was shooting blanks Maybe too violently his monkey was spanked Rabid petting of his leather eel Made vas deferens cancel it's deal Maybe no swimmers, but the urge was still there To spread that sticky man goo everywhere Broke the seams in his pockets for a hidden spray When it came to stroking rod, oh boy could he slay Cummando! - One true cause Cummando! - To ruin your day with mammal sauce... Beware his nasty habits at the grocery storе He ain't just shopping but launching dead spores Cummando! - Onе true cause! Cummando! - To ruin your day with mammal sauce! You may not notice it at first That cunning silent seminal burst When your hand wanders into behind of your jeans You find that gross spot of spilled prostate beans Veiny barrel with target on your back Sucking rounds from the bowels of his nutsack Trembling after launching a slimy load Chunky attack like a spawn of a toad Cummando! - One true cause Cummando! - To ruin your day with mammal sauce...
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026
Sometimes comics and drugs don't mix well But no one was there for this Bruce Wayne to tell When the drugs started kicking he was blown away This hero of Gotham and the resemblance of their names Grandma's old bra as armor and shitty underwear as mask on his face Scrolling the pages inhaling the plot His life and Batman's connecting the dots With meth boosted confidence - Metham! For his little town - Gotham! He would soon start the fight And be crowned the Dark Knight of Gotham Metham of Gotham Staring at the nightsky Baker's kiss and injections Shall make him fly Metham of Gotham Dives into ground and bites concrete From four hundred and twenty feet Now cleaners scrape off the street From local mini mart he raided His gear dressed to punish and strike fear With meth goggles, flame beanie and a tribal tattoo shirt Criminals of Gotham would soon bite the dirt
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026
Captain Cock Now here's some shit you haven't read from the history books A scurvy nightmarish pirate captain feared by all the crooks Sailing seas and pillaging is his biggest pleasure Ready to do anything for his precious nasty treasure Load the cannons and prepare the crew He is coming to get you... ya-ha-ha-ha-ha--ha-harrr! Captain Cock! - Face burnt by sun! Captain Cock! - Looks like a bum! Captain Cock! - Eats your mum! Captain Cock! - Shags your grandmum! Lazy crew slacking and waiting for their retirement check Shitfaced and naked captain is lying on the deck Only way to prevent the mutiny, is to threaten thе crew with a gun And when no one sees... Instеad of rum he drinks obviously cum Load the cannons and prepare the crew He is coming to get you... ya-ha-ha-ha-ha--ha-harrr! Captain Cock! - Face burnt by sun! Captain Cock! - Looks like a bum! Captain Cock! - Eats your mum! Captain Cock! - Shags your grandmum! Instead of rum he drinks obviously cum
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026
Howard slipped through psycholigist's sieve Had a bunch of nasty tricks up his sleeve Sneaked his way to the medical school Learned on stray cats how to use knife as a tool Restoring dead bodies for the viewing But the looks of your loved one can be deceiving From a sharp dressed corpse it's hard to tell what is wrong But there is nothing hanging under that dead dong Delicate, decomposing, sever the sack Reveal the jewels carеful not to crack With a careful sweep of scalpel's blade Thеy merge as eunuchs at their wake Passion for calculus and veiny bag of male Abacus of testicles makes your face turn pale Shelves filled with all sizes and shapes Fine ass handcraft not all heroes wear capes Where did they go one would ask To properly explain is a tough motherfuckin' hard task Howie he had a dream to one day be his own man Open up a tiny gift shop was his masterplan Delicate, decomposing, sever the sack Reveal the jewels careful not to crack With a careful sweep of scalpel's blade They merge as eunuchs at their wake One two three Testicles I need Multiply with twenty To get sixty
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026
There's a great forest where shit hurts and happens You heard your grandpa tell Beautiful nature with singing birds but during wintertime The place becomes hell A reek that kills all living plants like fucking venomous smog Running all pantless with private parts hanging out like a rotten log Nasty ass goblin, a troll named Scrot holds forest inhabitants in terror When you lay your head to get your restoring sleep That's when you make an error Through his dirty toes now squatting on your head Putrid smell like a long lost dead Nasty teabag goes up and down That makes even a moose to frown Whole forest smells of genital rot - caused by a troll named Scrot Soon you'll wake up with totally swollen eyes, vicious allergic attack Itching and burning contagious infection by trolls blistered nutscak Graybear's slumber was brutally shortened Accidentally a tuft of pubic hair was snorted During summer troll's whereabouts unknown Only aftermath of hideous actions are shown Bunch of animals with pus dripping eyes Hitting trees because of their teabag blurred eyes Noses and beaks never free from stench of rot Forest residents terrorized by the troll named Scrot Nasty ass goblin, a troll named Scrot holds forest inhabitants in terror When you lay your head to get your restoring sleep That's when you make an error Through his dirty toes now squatting on your head Putrid smell like a long lost dead Nasty teabag goes up and down That makes even a moose to frown Whole forest smells of genital rot - caused by a troll named Scrot
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026
Mutation... from your worst nightmares Combination of two unlike lifeforms Many say it should have stayed forever indoors Local horror - reasons for it's creation unknown For innocent bypassers it's pink buttocks are shown 1999 - metamorphosis of duck and swine Atrocious man-made design Behold... the Åbomination 1999 - metamorphosis of duck and swine This shit crossed the line Upon arrival bloodthirsty blue eyes glaring above the monstrous snout Ancient city legends tell how it has devoured numerous scouts Seven meters high love child of a marzipan pig and a rubber duck Seeing this pink horror makes you think; about thе actual fuck? 1999 - metamorphosis of duck and swine Atrocious man-made dеsign Behold... the Åbomination 1999 - metamorphosis of duck and swine This shit crossed the line
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026
You probably heard it and we can confirm it's true Scrotal area shenanigans performed in the woods Even old Harry had a hunch there was something nasty going down "It's those porn men again" he said with a frown Nuts rhythmically flapping against tender bun meat Like furry dices at the windshield of your -88 Bemer M3 heated male bonding ritual in progress Forest fap frenzy caressing genital flesh Mood draws an image beneath the trees Pair of trouser snakes roaming free FOREST FAP FRENZY! Charming moves of erectеd veiny poles Ready to bе dripped into mucous holes FOREST FAP FRENZY! In the bushes behind the shady caravan stop Lovethirsty travellers silently they dock Manhandling meat jewels with passionate grunts Mouthful of nutsack stranger's hand pulls the stunt FOREST FAP FRENZY!
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026
They are here to fuck that nasty paranormal butt Ghosts, goblins and whatnot are outta luck When they meet the Ghostfuckers! Outrageous squad and their streaming rods These inhuman orgies stink like your granpa's old socks Fucking the ghost! And skeletal bones! Paranormal moans! Ghostfuckers! Samara coming through the TV-screen in seven days Only to be greeted with Ghostfuckers' libidous gaze Can't return through the screen to the cursed well What will happen now, let your imagination tell R'Rotten vampire balls or even Draculas cock Are not disgusting enough to make Ghostfuckers stop Now some new phantom crawls tries to scare the horny posse off On it the humping befalls even it didn't have a cunt or a cock Fucking the ghost! And skeletal bones! Paranormal moans! Ghostfuckers! Precise laserbeam catching that annoying green goo It tries to float away in horror Knowing what Ghostfuckers will do Now the haunter became the haunted evil Supernatural beings sexually daunted
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026
Hidden in the depths of Antarktis Unseen from modern technology and human eye Enslaved males from inferior breed Captured for semen-slaves, never to be free Never to be free "You're my cryogenic tank, an astral sperm bank" Pubic hair and smegma used as entrances emboss The reproducing palace built in spermafrost Chromosome disorder disabled their life-seed In the brink of exctinction unable to breed Aliens mixed DNA with human race Original purpose forgotten - cum made them obsessed Cum made them obsessed 100-feet walls rise - made only from frozen human cum Intergalactic birthright - To harvest spunk from beyond the sun Numerous prisoners jizzing every hour - to get the engineering masterpiece done Pubic hair and smegma used as entrances emboss The reproducing palace built in spermafrost
Submitted by VladTheImpaler666 — Jun 29, 2026