Transnational Speedway League: Anthems, Anecdotes, and Undeniable Truths

If you thought it was boring in Jordan Then come out here for a day And by the way, the name is Marcus But if you like, you can call me Sensei Well the emperor is in the pig sty And the geisha is in the shack And you better believe I'll hold them there 'til the feds, they pay me back Kamikaze backbone, nine iron spitfire Continental samurai, oh my Lord Brown sugar, sweet potato, sourmash, baby back Redneck romance, bless my soul Harikiri and combines Come dancing with me Harikiri and combines Won't you come dancing with me? Yes, I'm a New World Samurai, and a redneck nonetheless Yes, I'm a New World Samurai, and a redneck nonetheless Yes, I'm a New World Samurai, and I can read your mind, check it out, I'm like a buzzbomb Yes, I'm a New World Samurai Check it out, I'm like a buzzbomb So Bebop-aloobop-awopshamboo Domo arigato if I got to Bebop-aloobop-awopshamboo And domo arigato if I got to Bebop-aloobop-awopshamboo Domo arigato if I got to Bebop-aloobop-awopshamboo Domo arigato if I got to So Bebop-aloobop-awopshamboo Domo arigato if I got to Bebop-aloobop-awopshamboo And domo arigato if I got to Bebop-aloobop-awopshamboo Domo arigato if I got to Bebop-aloobop-awopshamboo And domo arigato if I got to

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Like a fly to doo doo You need me like a bird needs wings Or Little Bunny Foo Foo who needs to bop the field mice So all the kids can sing They call me El Jefe, el primo de los matadors The master of the metaphor, a chaw-chewing troubadour The one you've come to love and adore And I've come to take you away Take you away, take you away, take you away Take you away, take you away, take you away I'll make you go goo-goo Like a baby that sees candy right before its eyes I'll kiss your little boo-boo Make it better than it's ever felt before They call me El Jefe, el primo de los matadors The master of the metaphor, a chaw-chewing troubadour The one you've come to love and adore And I've come to take you away Take you away, take you away, take you away Take you away, take you away, take you away I'll take you away now I'll take you away now I'll take you away now I'll take you away now Can you do the two-step flesh-tone slide? Well, I'll teach you Can you do the achy breaky eyeball dance? Well, I'll teach you Can you do the two-step flesh-tone slide? Well, I'll teach you Can you do the achy breaky eyeball dance? Well, I'll teach you They call me El Jefe, the boss and the point man And I've come to take you away They call me El Jefe, the boss and the hit man And I've come to take you away

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Perhaps it's just the way the light falls But everything looks like a target to me And I don't know where the gun is But I'm certain that it's pointed at me And in the jungle, wretched jungle They say the lion eats tonight And all around it is a coliseum Dripping with a voracious appetite I say hey there, fella Whose soul are you tormenting now? Hey there, fella Whose soul are you tormenting now? Hey there, fella Whose soul are you tormenting now? In the course of all the previous events It is evident that something's bound to happen Come on, rear your ugly head to me I've got nothing to lose but my apathy The root of the problem has been isolated The root of the problem has been isolated The root of the problem has been isolated The root of the problem has been isolated Come on, motherfucker, come on, motherfucker Come on, motherfucker, let's throw down Come on, motherfucker, come on, motherfucker Come on, motherfucker, let's throw down Just try me, just try me What are you waiting for? Come on, motherfucker, let's throw down Come on, motherfucker, let's go Just rear your ugly fucking head, I'll put it on a platter Just rear your ugly fucking head, I'll put it on a platter So come on, motherfucker, come on, motherfucker Come on, motherfucker, let's throw down Come on, motherfucker, come on, motherfucker Come on, motherfucker, let's go Hey there, hey fella Hey there, hey fella Come on, motherfucker, come on, motherfucker Come on, motherfucker, let's throw down Come on, motherfucker, come on, motherfucker Come on, motherfucker, let's go I'll make you wish that you'd never been born I'll make you wish that you'd never been born I'll make you wish that you'd never been born Come on, motherfucker, let's go Hey there, hey fella Hey there, hey fella

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

This was always the last place I expected to be Once upon an apocalypse, so better make the most of it So I said to the horsemen, "Have a Coke and a smile" So I said to the horsemen, "Why not stick around for a while?" But they said you got the wrong one, baby The new generation's pushing up some daisies And by decree of Rapture I-N-C We're closing this here market permanently Coming down like a ton of lead More bang for your buck, more pangs for the dead Coca-Cola and Armageddon I like it, like it, yes I do So they Tried to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony But it was way off-key, so here comes big RC The melting pot boils, the Bible Belt breaks And young America begins to sing Coca-Cola and Armageddon We like it, like it, yes we do Coca-Cola and Armageddon It's the real thing now, come and get it So they Tried to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony But it was way off-key, so here comes big RC The melting pot boils, the Bible Belt breaks And young America begins to sing

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Temptation of Indulgence Divides and conquers my mind An elegy for fading youth Welcome to mankind If you provide the spleen Then I'll provide the ideal If I provide a puppet Will you provide the strings? Revel in the glory Of a coming of age Decades of suppression Released in a rage If you provide the spleen Then I'll provide the ideal If I provide a puppet Will you provide the strings? Have mercy How can I seize the day when it is dusk? You provide the pull, and I'll provide the thrust Romance is nothing but a sack of lies But it is truth which I have come to despise Bacchanal Bacchanal Bacchanal Yeah If I provide the scene Will you provide the ordeal? If I provide a crown Will you provide a queen? Revel in the glory Of a coming of age Decades of suppression Released in a rage

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Fine swine, wish you were mine, bite the apple of my eye This little piggy never made it home Helter skelter, run for shelter, can't escape the boiling swelter Beat you like the dog that you are Oh, I could kill you if I wanted Kill you with my own two hands Oh, I'm so happy I could kill you Kill you like a sacrificial lamb Because you, you are nothing but an animal Branding iron on your back A sight so obscene, a sight so absurd So many ways to skin a cat All cut up All cut up Everything tastes better now My hands, these tools, the fatted cow The swine, the wine, the coming feast Your Jesus Christ has canine teeth Fine swine, wish you were mine, bite the apple of my eye This little piggy never made it home Helter skelter, run for shelter, can't escape the boiling swelter Beat you like the dog that you are Because you, you are nothing but an animal With a branding iron on your back A sight so obscene, a sight so absurd So many ways to skin a cat All cut up All cut up Everything tastes better now My hands, these tools, the fatted cow The swine, the wine, the coming feast Your Jesus Christ has canine teeth

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Rats over the dishes Rats over the dishes Please tell me what the ratties say Please tell me what the ratties say Rats over the dishes And God was certainly a genius To expose this human weakness Rats over the dishes Rats over the dishes Please tell me what the ratties say Please tell me what the ratties say Rats over the dishes And to think that this was once my home But now some sick bastard's pleasure dome They say to build a better man trap The rats, they will beat a path to your door And the doorway is a cutaway of flesh and bone And the doorway is a cutaway of flesh and bone Lay me down upon a bed of roses Lay me down upon a bed of roses Rats Rats Rats Beat a path to my door Build a better man trap And the rats will beat a path to your door Build a better man trap And the rats will beat a path to your door Build a better man trap And the rats will beat a path to your door Build a better man trap And the rats will beat a path to your door

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Now, all will be sanctified And now, all will be purified And now, all will be rectified And now, all will be rectified And now, you will be purified And now, you will be purified So you writhe in the deep fry Squirm like the earthworm In that mud called love That you justified, that will be purified Whether you like it or not So you writhe in the deep fry Squirm like the earthworm In that mud called love That you justified, that will be purified Whether you like it or not So you leap from the dung heap Squirm like the earthworm In that mud called love That you justified, that will be rectified Whether you like it or not Writhe in the deep fry Squirm like the earthworm In that mud called love That you justified, that will be rectified Whether you like it or not And now, all will be purified And now, all will be sanctified And now, all will be rectified And now, all will be rectified

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Rise now, my son Rise now, my son You were suffering from a horrible dream So mend your ways before they tear you by the seams You're not the first and not the last So take this relic of the beloved past So take it now, it's yours, pass it on, preserve This undenied heritage of yours So take this heirloom, so take this heirloom So take the heirloom, so take the heirloom But I don't want it And I don't need it So you can keep it So you can keep it But I don't want it And I don't need it So you can keep it So you can keep it I don't want it, I don't need it Take your heirloom to hell I don't want it, I don't need it Take your heirloom to hell I will not fulfill your prophecy 'cause this heirloom, it burns like a scar The calf denies the branding iron at last The calf denies the branding iron at last I don't want it I don't want it I don't want it I don't want it

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Well, I crashed a Cadillac through the gates of Hell And returned with a fistful of dollars And Evel Knievel, like Virgil Was a gentleman as well as a scholar I fly like a Retro-glide buckshot And you know I hang like a hex on a barn Grind the guardrail like a nail on a file Above and beyond the whole nine yards Well, I rolled Jesse Helms like a cigarette And smoked him higher than the highest of the minarets Jesse James couldn't even handle it Started looking at me like I was Sanskrit 'Cause in the great shining path of the great monster trucks There's no such thing as beginner's luck I'm the dirty dozen for the price of one Get it while it's hot, going, going, going, gone It's about time you started learning Started learning to come to where the flavor is Flavor is It's about time you started learning You started learning to come to where the flavor Is Flavor is The skies are always sunny in the heart of flavor country Where the washers stuffed with money are growing like grass Junk bondage racks never cut you slack But that's the way the racket goes when rounding up green backs Don't hate me just because I'm beautiful You'll find that it's really not unusual When you're raised with the good, the bad, the ugly A holy trinity in flavor country It's about time you started learning Started learning to come to where the flavor Is Flavor is I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle I got spurs that jingle, jangle, jingle And you are my happy trail You are my happy trail You are my happy trail You are my happy trail The skies are always sunny in the heart of flavor country The skies are always sunny in the heart of flavor country The skies are always sunny in the heart of flavor country

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026

Behold the man, a living example Behold the man, a living example In his likeness, sacred profane In his likeness, sacred profane Behold the man What have I done? The path to hell is paved with least resistance But those less traveled by shall make a world of difference Beating myself to a pulp Extracting from my skull All those things I've learned to live with All those things I've loved All these things are killing me A perpetual fall from grace But the hand that feeds is the hand that beats me Fiercely in the face So I will Build myself an effigy Build myself an effigy Build myself an effigy Build myself an effigy No longer mope in mediocre hell No longer mope in mediocre hell Behold the man, a living example Behold the man, what have I done? Behold the man, in his likeness Sacred profane Behold the man, a living example Behold the man, what have I done? Behold the man, in his likeness What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? What have I done, done, done, done? Effigy, effigy Effigy, effigy Behold the man, behold the man The icons, betrayal, and guilt The icons, betrayal, and guilt The icons, betrayal, and filth The icon What have I done? Behold the man, a living example In his likeness, sacred profane Behold the man, behold the man What have I done? What have I done? What have I done? What have I done?

Submitted by Lake of Tears — Feb 26, 2026