I Like It When You Die
First you killed an old person Then you went to jail Then you killed another When you got out on bail Old people suck, Kevorkian rules Old people suck, Jack Kevorkian's cool Old people suck, Kevorkian rules Old people suck, Jack Kevorkian's cool You're in jail again Because you wouldn't sell out Let's get a bulldozer And break him out Old people suck, Kevorkian rules Old people suck, Jack Kevorkian's cool Old people suck, Kevorkian rules Old people suck, Jack Kevorkian's cool
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You fucking jew, you wanted to save 50 bucks You were too cheap to fly Delta, now you're an alligator's lunch Find your early graves in the everglades ValuJet, ValuJet Over prices you did quibble now the alligators nibble ValuJet, ValuJet Hitler should've thought of it now you're alligator shit ValuJet, ValuJet You stupid fucking jew you shouldn't have flew ValuJet, ValuJet Are you a jew or just fucking gay Too cheap to fly Delta or T.W.A At least the plane was filled with white trash, jews, and blacks Now you're ValuJet alligator snacks
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You've got no friends Tom Pascual, you
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You think your life's so important You have to write it down You're just a fucking faggot No one cares about you You, you keep a diary You pompous asshole dickface You'll probably write a book Only another asshole would publish it You dumb stupid fag
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Hide your dogs, hide your cats, gook, gook You can't drive, your face is flat, gook, gook Your eyes aren't straight It's you I hate, gook, gook You pick rice, we bombed you twice, gook, gook You're a fucking gook! You're a fucking gook! You're a fucking gook! You're a fucking gook! Your accent's gay, please go away, gook, gook You look alike, you ride a bike, gook, gook You own a store, I kicked in your door, gook, gook You fucking gook, you make me puke, gook, gook You're a fucking gook! You're a fucking gook! You're a fucking gook! You're a fucking gook!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You just wanted to hold hands but he wanted to fuck He's twice your size and weight so you're shit out of luck You got date raped, date raped You whined to the judge, your eyes were full of tears But you wouldn't have been raped if you didn't have 50 beers Next time you go out bring a chaperone or friend Or you'll probably end up getting date raped again You got date raped
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You PC fucking faggot Why don't you throw it away I'll never recycle There's nothing you can say Recycling is gay Recycling is gay Recycling is gay Recycling is gay My garbage can is filled With plastic, cans, and glass If you tell me to recycle I'm going to kick your ass Recycling is gay Recycling is gay Recycling is gay Recycling's fucking gay!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You Fucking Pig! Powdered Sugar on your fingers, coffee on your shirt Bribes in your pocket, you never do any work You fat fucking slob, you just sit in a car Until you get off work then it's back to the bar You fucking pig (pig!) You're a fucking cop (cop!) You never catch any crooks, but harass everyone else. Your fat fingers don't fit the trigger, you're too slow to catch a nigga You're a suburban cop because you're afraid of the city You broke a stool at Dunkin' Donuts because you're so fucking fat You fucking pig (pig!) You're a fucking cop (cop!) Powdered Sugar on your fingers, coffee on your shirt Bribes in your pocket, you never do any work You fat fucking slob, you just sit in a car Until you get off work then it's back to the bar You fucking pig (pig!) You're a fucking cop (cop!)
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You have dumb boots—you can't shut up You love M*A*S*H—you can't shut up You don't wear pants—you can't shut up You can't shut up You have a beard—you can't shut up It looks real dumb—you can't shut up You lost your thumb—you can't shut up You can't shut up You're embarrassing—you can't shut up You can't keep time—you can't shut up You're a fucking hank—you can't shut up You can't shut up Stop saying "hyper"—you can't shut up Stop saying "blast"—you can't shut up You're a pain in the ass—you can't shut up You can't shut up
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You've got cancer,cancer Your hair's falling out from chemo Part of your colon's been removed You're only down to 90 pounds You've only got 3 months to live You've got cancer,cancer
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
[mostly noise vocals, except the chorus when SETH sing words from that gay dave mason song]
Submitted by Cyberwaste — Apr 18, 2026
If you wanna win the game you've gotta take good aim And get the most marbles with your hippo Playin' Hungry Hungry Hippos Hungry Hungry Hippos If you wanna win the game you've gotta take good aim And get the most marbles with your hippo Playin' Hungry Hungry Hippos Hungry Hungry Hippos
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Faggot You want to paint my walls pink You want to give me a flowered sink You put a statue of Holly Johnson in my hall And a poster of Joe Bonni on my wall Interior decorator Faggot
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! You couldn't afford college, you took a night class You made a clay dildo, and shoved it up your ass Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! your ass! piece of shit, fucking die! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay! Pottery's gay, pottery's gay!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
If you think you'll get Christine back, there's something wrong with you She left you for Ben Tober, and he's a fucking jew Rich Goyette is gay
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Enough of this fuckin' around You're fucking awesome You're my favorite actor Your character is great You fucking rule Branscombe Richmond! Branscombe Richmond! Let's go You and Lorenzo work great together You've got cool jewelry Your hairstyle couldn't be better I wish I was you Branscombe Richmond! Branscombe Richmond! Huah! I respect your Native heritage Your name is really cool I'd love your hairdresser's number You couldn't possibly be cooler Branscombe Richmond! Branscombe Richmond! Branscombe Richmond! Branscombe Richmond! (laughter)
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You live in Allston! YOU LIVE IN ALLSTOOOOOOOON!!!! You a you You live in Allston And you're fucking gay! You live in Allston! YOU LIVE IN ALLSTOOOOOOOON!!!!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Your last name's Weinstein and your first name's Jay You're a food critic and you're fucking gay You have more hair on your face than you have on your head Pretty soon you'll have AIDS and you'll be fucking dead You are a food critic You are a food critic You are a food critic You are a food critic You're old enough—to have bought "Let It Be" when it was new You're bald enough—to blind a bird you fucking jew You're gay enough—to go out with Liberace You're gay enough—you fucking fag I'm 22, you're 33, and you go to school with me Jay Weinstein is a gay bald jew with a beard
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Just the two of us We can make it if we try Just the two of us You and I You and I Just the two of us We can make it if we try Just the two of us You and I You and I
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Your record cost $3.99 Your record cost $2.99 Your record cost $1.99 And then it gets returned Your band's in the cut-out bin Your band's in the cut-out bin Your band's in the cut-out bin Your band's in the cut-out bin You're right next to Hall and Oates You're right next to The Commodores You're right next to Cameo You're a fucking homo Your band's in the cut-out bin Your band's in the cut-out bin Your band's in the cut-out bin Your band's in the cut-out bin Cut-out bin, cut-out bin, cut-out bin, cut-out bin You're in the return line They don't take back records under $3.99 Then you start to fucking whine Buy a real album next time
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Y-o-u-r-e-g-a-y, you're gay You volunteer for charity work—you're gay You care about the environment—you're gay You're a ballet dancer—you're gay You're a cake decorator—you're gay You subscribe to Honcho—you're gay You go to fashion shows—you're gay You love playing hacky sack—you're gay You go to poetry readings—you're gay Y-o-u-r-e-g-a-y, you're gay
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Your real mother was a hooker Your real father couldn't get laid Your mother left you in a dumpster You were adopted by two gays You look adopted You hate father and son picnics You hate the p.t.a You won't bring friends to your house You've got two fathers and they're both fucking gay
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Your cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin Cousin, cousin is George Lynch! (Pause) Your cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin, cousin Cousin is George Lynch!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You want to go to school You want a good job You want to get married You want to own a car You're boring, you're gay, you're old You have goals You're boring, you're gay, you're old You have goals You want to own a house You want to have kids If these are your goals Then you're fucking stupid
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You're from the North End—wop You're from Revere Beach—wop You can't have a barbeque—wop The spaghetti always falls through—wop You drive an El Camino Your hero's Barbarino Your cousin's name is guido On the beach you wear a Speedo You drive an IROC—wop Your girlfriend has a mustache—wop You were an altar boy—wop You got raped by a priest—wop You drive an El Camino Your hero's Barbarino Your cousin's name is guido On the beach you wear a Speedo You put on a bottle of colonge today You're Italian and you're fucking gay Your fucking name is fucking Vinnie And you're a greasy fucking guinea You can't have freckles—wop They slide off your face—wop You braid your girlfriend's breast hair—wop You shave your granny's back hair—wop
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You fucking fag, you have a mustache You hang around with men and stare at their ass You're the gayest guy I've ever seen You play on a softball team You're the biggest fag I've ever seen You play on a softball team Your team's sponsored by a gay bar, and you've got team pride Too bad most of your team all got AIDS and died You're the gayest guy I've ever seen You play on a softball team You're the biggest fag I've ever seen You play on a softball team You're the gayest guy I've ever seen You play on a softball team You're the biggest fag I've ever seen You play on a softball team You're the gayest guy I've ever seen You play on a softball team You're the biggest fag I've ever seen You play on a softball team Faggot!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You have to wear a diaper—because you're old You have to use a wheelchair—because you're old You can't remember your kids' names—because you're old You have to wear dentures—because you're old Because you're old "I hate old people" Because you're old "You're fucking old" Your kids tossed you in a nursing home—because you're old But they'd rather have you put to sleep—because you're old You can't even feed yourself—because you're old I'd hate to fucking be like you—because you're old
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You have a mustache, you called me on the phone You wear a beret and you sell colonge You wear colonge but you still smell bad You smell like shit from all the men that you've had You sell colonge You wear a gay suit, you have a mustache You're always looking at your customers' ass A freelance homo, you tried to sell to Sears But you got kicked out because you're fucking queer
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Being a cobbler is dumb! Being a cobbler is dumb! Being a cobbler is dumb! Being a cobbler is dumb! Being a cobbler is dumb! Being a cobbler is dumb! Being a cobbler is dumb! Being a cobbler is dumb!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You live in a houseboat You're so poor it barely floats You live in a houseboat You're white trash you're fucking broke You live in a houseboat Trailer park thinks you're a joke You live in a houseboat You're a dumb stupid fag You live in a houseboat Your dog wears a bandana You live in a houseboat You have no teeth You live in a houseboat You have tattoos of an anchor You live in a houseboat Your house has a leak You live in a houseboat
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Richard Butler, why must you always sing that way
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
(gibberish, mocking SA's vocals) (gibberish, mocking Nick's vocals) You fucking suck!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Clubbed foot Lazy eye Cleft palate Webbed hands Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Multiple sclerosis Scoliosis Scurvy HIV Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed (Oi! Oi! Oi!) Your kid is deformed!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Too bad your mother never learned to drive Maybe if she did, your parents would still be alive Now they're dead, and your sister too Now you're an orphan, we'll make fun of you You are an orphan
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Please die! (You're old!) Please die! (You're old!) Please die! (You're old!) Fuck you!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Your parents paid your tuition and bought you a beret You go to art school because you're fucking gay Are you in college or 13th grade Think of all the money your parents could have saved Fag, fag, fag, you go to art school Fag, fag, fag, you go to art school Fag, fag, fag, you go to art school Your parents paid your tuition and bought you a beret You go to art school because you're fucking gay Are you in college or 13th grade Think of all the money your parents could have saved Fag, fag, fag, you go to art school Fag, fag, fag, you go to art school Fag, fag, fag, you go to art school
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
No one cares what you say No one gives a shit about Norway No one can stand the way you talk Except your girlfriend, the greasy wop Everyone mistakes you for a Jew Your best friend is you Everyone mistakes you for a Jew Your best friend is you You have hook nose like a fucking Jew Your best friend is you You have hook nose like a fucking Jew Your best friend is you No one cares about what you wrote You're nothing but a spic, a 5 foot joke Every show you book is a fucking flop You're a fucking midget and your broad's a wop No one cares what your last show drew Your best friend is you No one cares what your last show drew Your best friend is you You're about as tall as Tattoo Your best friend is you You're about as tall as Tattoo Your best friend is you Your favorite letter's F Flunk you, flunked out of school Flop every show that you do Fail every class that you take Friends, not one you can make
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You're a fucking vegetable, we tried to pull the plug But you still wouldn't die, you're a dumb stupid fag You shit in a bag, you piss in a tube You can't walk, you can't move You're in a coma You're in a coma You're in a coma You're in a coma I tried to give you a hotfoot, but you didn't notice You're gay and you're in a coma, you're a fruit and a vegetable You're in a coma You're in a coma You're in a coma You're in a coma You shit in a bag, you piss in a tube You can't , you can't fuckin' move You're in a coma You're in a coma You're in a coma You're in a coma
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
They're so fucking annoying Only faggots own them Windchimes are gay Windchimes are gay Windchimes are gay Windchimes are gay
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
No lyrics have been submitted for this track yet.
No lyrics have been submitted for this track yet.
You've got no friends You stay home all day You've been to every website Because you're fucking gay The internet is fucking gay You fucking faggot, loser, queer, nerd, etc You've got no friends You stay home all day You've been to every website Because you're fucking gay
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Your wife wanted a better man 'Cause you're a fucking loser Not only that, but you're a fucking jew! Your wife left you, your wife left you You're not only a loser, but you're also a Jew! Your wife left you, your wife left you You're not only a loser, but you're also a Jew! Your wife left you, your wife left you You're not only a loser, but you're also a Jew! Your wife left you, your wife left you You're not only a loser, but you're also a Jew! (Ha ha!) Your wife left you, your wife left you You're not only a loser, but you're also a Jew! Your wife left you, your wife left you You're not only a loser, but you're also a Jew!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Your band is fucking awesome, you have the best sound You're really really good, you're the best band around Hootie and the Blowfish! Hootie and the Blowfish! Hootie and the Blowfish! Hootie and the Blowfish! Even though you're black, I still think you're good But please don't move into my neighborhood The singer's a nigga, the other 3 are geeks We'll get front row tickets and show up in sheets Hootie and the Blowfish! Hootie and the Blowfish! Hootie and the Blowfish! Hootie and the Blowfish!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Faggot Retard Homo You went to see Dishwalla and Everclear You're gay, you're a fucking queer You went to see Dishwalla and Everclear You're gay, you're a fucking queer Faggot You went to see Dishwalla and Everclear You're gay, you're a fucking queer You went to see Dishwalla and Everclear You're gay, you're a fucking queer
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Hey Brian, hey Bob, hey Lee, hey Ben You're gay, you're gay I'm gonna lock Drop Dead in McDonalds today Today I'm gonna and fry a burger on your face Your lyrics don't matter, no one cares anyways
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
"How many megs of RAM do you have on your computer?" Technology's gay! "Hey, why don't you check out my website at www dot..." Technology's gay! "I was looking at the Star Trek website, and I, um..." Technology's gay! "Let me fax you my e-mail address." Technology's gay!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
No lyrics have been submitted for this track yet.
is that scott and tim,or gilbert and lewis i let them in the band,didn't know that they'd screw us mike mahan had no brains,tim has no spine fred's a fucking asshole,and paul would always whine first we had a spic,a pollack,and a geek who'll play guitar for anal cunt next week seth's an alcoholic,tim can't play drums everyone in anal cunt is dumb fred had his hair in those stupid fucking braids tim has a kid,but he never gets laid john dyed his hair,so we kicked him out of the band scott's got a dumb tattoo on his hand
Submitted by Morgoth — Apr 18, 2026
We're so dumb, we've got nothing new to say We write the same song 30 times a day About how you're a cunt or you're dumb or you're gay But we'll keep writing them anyway You fill in the blank You fill in the blank You fill in the blank You fill in the blank Fill in the blank is dumb Fill in the blank is gay Fill in the blank's a cunt And Tom Pascual is short You fill in the blank You fill in the blank You fill in the blank You fill in the blank
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
Kyle from Incantation He's got a mustache! "Aight, this is Kyle from Incantation, and I have a mustache."
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026
You're listening to 85.3 FM, and you just heard my two favorite bands Filter and The Refreshments. SHUT UP!
Submitted by Pestilence — Feb 20, 2026